Transporter

I wish I knew what this was.
I wish to God I did.
For all I know,
These words are not mine.
The pen dips into shadows
Leaving stains illuminated
By a single street light.

This is where he stands,
One man
Writhing in the bile
Of his own thoughts.
Letting the stench sit in his clothing,
Single black backseat self-loathing.
I hope no one will ever find me
But I want them all to know
It's not me.

These tears are made for crocodiles
Backed from my eyes and soaked in my brain
While I switch from first to third,
There's no second,
Only shame.

I'm hiding from my friends
I'm hiding from it all
Headlights and eye sights
Burn everything above my head
And no one knows I'm even gone.
I scream in my own ears
Because I can't stand the silence
Of self.

This is me.
Throwing my books off of the shelves
Each one I wrote
Drags my heels toward hell.
Don't you dare tear your clothing
Because I'm the fool
Who thought you would.
Now I get what I deserve:
Choking on my tightening nerves.

I am a failure to myself.
...is that all I come to acknowledge?
I praised others to praise others,
I feed my spoiled baby with sour milk.
Maybe I'll leave
Once I've made a scene.
This paper has no sympathy,
This pen doesn't know what I mean.

Dare I mention the stars?
Dare I mention the scars?
The moon is in debt to the sun
But runs in foolish circles.
And still,
I'm putting alligator clips on my lips,
Wet with lipstick
Red.
And somehow I was surprised
When my heart felt the shock
And the light hit my eyes.
The inside of this hollow crystal
Is black.
And the bright outside says,
"Let go without a sound.
You've tethered the lifeboats
And they are going to drown
With you.
Do you really think this is fair?"
So I leave an unfitting scene,
Leaving my scent in the air
And yes,
I'm still not there.

I am not deserved.
I am not deserving.
A drunk takes a swig
At attempts to stop swerving.

I said it before on the eastern shore
When two puzzles were mixed
Until no pieces fit:
This is not me.
No matter how hard I tried,
Or how much I cried
No matter how hard I tried,
I'm not understood.
The termites have found pleasure
In your treasure made of wood.
And so I'm dying from the inside
And these stomach pains
Never do subside.
It's reality,
Pinching at my sides...
A slowdance where it leads,
A slowdance with no time.

So here I am, lost.
I don't know what I'm seeking
And for this lapse in time,
I'll explain I was sleeping.
Right now,
I'm on the edge.
Insane at the border.
I am not reason, destination, or order.
I am merely existence.
I am transporter.

Example One

The the harder the needle pushes to the left.
The harder it gets to force words through mental lips.
Rhymes fall out of the squint of my tired eyes.
While sitting on the stand,
Making alibis.
Who would have expected?
Who would have sensed?
That I'd stop making sense
For the sake of a post,
As my heart loses substance
And my ribs encase ghosts.

The Ends of Circles

I spent my childhood chasing rainbows
But now they are dates
In color-coded pen.
It's the same now
As it was back then.
I'm running, running,
A sprint to the end!
But as I run in this tunnel
The light seems to bend.

Tumblers

With the gate cracked open,
My thoughts run free in every direction.
But I am still bound to these thoughts
For they remain mine.
And I get tense as these chains
Lose slack
And unwind.

It went taught
When I was caught
On the curb by my car
But I stumbled on
Surroundings gone...
I must know where you are.

I should've known and not have lied
To myself.
More worrisome things beckon
Like keeping my friends alive.
No one dies,
But I still fade
And persuade myself that it's all
Okay.
Okay?

I'm getting defensive.
And getting up fences
That I'll tear down
With a look,
A "sorry!"
And a book that reads:
I once couldn't see,
I once couldn't feel,
But now I can tell
That this has been real
-ly different,
And now I finally understand.

Sucking Up Sand

Mind against motion,
The body is too stale.
Pores become moldy sores
And neural fibers combed out,
Smooth like the breaths,
In and out of consciousness.
Smooth like the transition of the day
Flawless when I saw it from my window.
Smooth like the sand that spills
From the holes in my pockets.
The plug fell out of the socket,
While I went running on reserves.
My nerves are shot.
My focus, lost.
So now I run through the courtyard
Equipped with broom and pan,
Trying to make sense
Of the ticks and the hands.

The Ghost of Imprints Past

I dipped my hand to test the waters
And I felt the drag
That threatening drag.
There are waves pulsing on the water
There is a light pulse in the water.
An illusion of a warmth
In the womb of the sea?
Aye, but the cold to get through
Would surely be the death of me.
More knowledge, more complexity
An implied parting
With a goodbye under my breath.
So I watch bubbles surface and pop
A mournful sound that beckons to me,
Stop.
I turn my back to the edge
And cast flowers from my post
From staring at these towers,
Over and over,
And sinking with a ghost.

Returning Chester

A weekend gone,
From zero to red.
Threefold at the edges,
Wedging our eyes open
To open and open.
We're dead not yet,
We're holding and hanging
On.

Leaking gray matter from the pressure,
You pursue fresher air
In hopes to get the hell out of there,
To let the wind
Bear the weights in your hair.

Bars hold me back,
As the quarter notes attack.
And you forget,
And I regret,
Formalities and familiarities.

So I gather exclusion
In a red metal case
Without financial intentions
But starving attention.
...So it is given,
And it is gotten.

The stability found
When all else fails.
The perfection embodied,
A storm that I sail.
The dictator laid down,
Halting reign that I hail.
The unseen pleasant things
That forgetfulness entails.

Silver Rabbit

Are these nerves too rusty to work?
Yet we wore them as they
Tore us apart.
As pleasing as a rock
As silencing as a sock,
We were thrown in the trunk
That jumbled our words
As they were spoken
And our ceramic masks were broken.
With shards so messy.

These are meant to be learned from
And our shame is meant to be burnt
Under the outdoor lights
Laugh after work and start anew
Because we are the lucky
And ever so few.

So are your nerves too flimsy to jerk?
These beasts feast on animals
While others channel their focus
On those of cameras
We've lost all standards!
And laugh at the shocks
That encouragement brings,
And our praise we sing
Until we heard word of the cops.
In a getaway so messy.

We run, but you lead
But then in I'm in
And out
Of cover.
Embarrassment of a lover
That is quickly recovered
I wouldn't ask for another.
I couldn't ask for another.
Something so perfect,
So messy.

Uncorked

I started with a startling thought:

You have what you don't want

And want what you don't have.

Well, I'm glad to say that isn't

Entirely true.

You can tell by the creak

Of now functionless seats.

They're all on their feet!

They're all on their feet!

Pleasant dams slow down my drift

That compliment our style

Of dramatic shifts...

We are clockwork.

We are god's work.

There's no stopping us now.

No,

Not while we're still alive.

And already it's over,

Our first one down!

But thank god we've still got five.

No Breath

Too much,
Too fast,
My mind
Can't last
The race.
This pace
Disgraced
My pride.
I hide
In sleep,
Forget
These things,
And I
Just feel
much worse.

The Calling

The sour taste of shadows
Overpowers a raspy voice.
I've been breathing in sponges
And belting a blossom
Of granite,
Of rust.

Places, places,
Call in the replacements.
This is my selfish jealousy,
This is what happens
When you get to be
Me.

Before and After

The plane landed, but I never stopped.
And when my face hit the tarmac
I only ran faster.
Disoriented form a story that ended
At 7:28 p.m.
I burned the coal
And closed my eyes,
Full speed behind!
I'm hurdling dams
To hurdle more waves
To find a nice desk to resign.
This ship is sick
The crew has turned lime,
The clouds stole our guidance
The sun stole our time.

If I could sit back in the waters
Of the eye of the storm,
I'd let go of the oars
And let freedom be born.

From Charlie to Angels

Here's to a day
Lost in changing planes
No time to say good bye!
Just leave a note behind...
And walk back to familiarity
Walking back to family.

Let your recollections
Clang with the affection
In tied cans to your bumper.
Sugar, mint, and grain,
Running for the train,
Knowing the pain of indecision
After walking the streets,
Noting deeds both good and bad
But nonetheless,
An experience to be had.

I followed laughs down the gateway
That told me, "Come home!"
And its signal was tranquility
In a silent, resting monotone.
The States' scale had tipped
From the places I had flown,
And balanced has been restored
Now that I'm finally back home.

Big Bad of Googies

I was drawn in by the colors,
But they were poison,
It was a spoof.
So I'll call these bricks my own,
Metropolitan,
Fire proof.

Bad Tapes and Balanced Stereo

Every day is a page I rip into two.

A series of sacrifices,

Making me

A slave to own devices:

The power of thought.

I bought into it all

and now,

I'm facing that squad

With my hands on the wall,

Assembled on the quad.

Defining my god.

They're lighting their city

They're licking their grins

And I'm guessing in tunnels...

To find where I went in.

And where I'll get out.

And I quiet the echoes

with even more shouts.

The is sampling nectar

With the venom of snakes,

To make the hardest decision

That I'll ever make.

T

Adding ah's to the er's

And oh's to the um's,

Here I imagine old men

When they were young.

You can never erase that dead  stare.

In your red wagon dreams

Those eyes are still there...

And youth is dead.

I almost feel guilty

Laughing young bubbles from my seat,

Filled with nothing but trivial troubles

That float away,

And away,

And away.

But I refuse to say a word on that matter.

The chatter of the train

Inclines us to do the same,

And so we laugh.

And so we think.

With our new friends.

And our mixed drinks. 

Brownstones

So put it on the cart
Or put it on the cot?
It seems that I've forgotten
That I've been flying all day
Listening to what people had to say
About the crying baby not too far away.
Stretching maps long,
Plus three hours
Gone.

Tired from the heat
Of a long, sleepless night
I felt as if I was ready to die,
Until I took a breath of the air
Outside.
Sunshine.
And brisk Boston air.
I was constantly wishing
You could've been there.
The city was waiting,
The river was waving,
So I buttoned the coat
I had always been saving
For a day like this.

Reverse Thrust Boosters

Airplanes and birds
Spread their wings through the sky,
But this airport is far from a bird's nest.
Its best twigs have thorns
And its fledglings have horns
That will poke a hole in any self-control
You thought you ever had.

They're filled with so much water,
They might as well explode,
So the young alarm makes sure
That everyone knows.
I regret to inform you
That this is my home.
The nest has a stench
That has me grabbing at walls,
Trying to create a distance
With the least amount of resistance.

But we all know
That the innocent are bombed
So I run down this terminal
As missiles whistle me on.
So now I sit on the floor
Holding to my chest
Everything that I hate,
And I yell at the wall
For an echo... delayed.
Delayed.
Delayed.
Delayed.
Delayed.
Delayed.
Delayed.
You feel that?
Your anger?
Your sadness?
Your hate?
Yeah, sulk all you want.
Delayed.
Delayed.

When Cars Look Like Stars Under Streetlights from a Plane

We had our last supper
On a cardboard box
Then we watched as the evening
Made all sorts of locks.
All non-confining,
But rather defining
What we really want:
To go the distance
Without the separation
To speak what we mean
And not need conversation.

It was the look in your eyes
And the salt in your tears
That made everything real
And made hold you nearer.
This fear is not estrangement,
A hot phone held against my chest,
So in defense my heart flexed
To preempt what happened next.
And your tears, I kissed,
As they fell to your lips
So you'd never forget
That you will be missed.

Muchness

Attention to detail
Disregard for retail
Yes, I have found,
Great deals without the bin,
Great pleasure without the sin.

I adjust my shower head
While washing in the harbor
And as the thunder claps louder
The rain falls down harder...
Hot,
Cold,
Hot,
Cold,
Emotions are emphasized,
Underlined and bold.
None of this was foretold
Like when I sold my hopes
To the government of reason.
But call me a traitor,
This is the kind of treason you can trust.
Hitting twenty, but never bust.
Grinning heavy, lost in so much.

So I sit in this salt bucket
Filled with cold drips
Licking my lips as I finish this quilt
Of euphoria and resentment,
But mostly of guilt.

I pulled the trigger that let my soul fly
That went through the walls between
Your body and mine,
And with smiling and crying
I set you alarmed,
Touch by the fact
That I've been disarmed.

Mental Leap

I apologize for my sleepy eyes
Filled with sand and other heavy things:
The blue with black shadows,
The bland default screen,
All of which are irrelevant
To the truly important things.

I hope this is not
A degradation in quality
Due to happiness embodied
Months before the fall.
With a mind rearranged
To serve an alternate current,
The circuits are bent
And I'm just trying to make sense.

May this not be a procession
For the recession of sorrowed seas
As slowly,
One by one,
Fall the leaves off of trees
Until they are naked like the page
Made of them, once good age.
May this not be the next step
When paper turns to mulch,
And ink becomes unsafe
And a hazard to be kept.

Here comes the chorus
And the orchestra in bloom,
With the boom of tympani drums
And my thumb in my mouth
And my feelings going south
To make room for more...

And the reprise swept the sea far onto the shore.

Something Clever For Something Short

Confusion and sleep,
I'm living (in) a dream,
And we're questioning the volume on the television screen.

Relief

I let out a breath
With blood in my lungs,
Sugary and metallic,
But this dream was not one
Any close to being done.

I opened my eyes to even more dark
As stark asphyxiation
Became an indication of impending doom,
Making an animal from a deflating balloon.

So there I was,
As sad clown with smeared make-up
Trying to find what I was made of,
Shoving my tricks too far up his sleeve,
So far until I could no longer breathe.
And I lied on his back.
As a panic attack ensued.
But then,
The stage glow lit up the entire room
And never too soon... on with the show!

And what came out from the sack,
You would never have guessed,
When I unraveled the deadweight
That lay on my chest...

Who would ever keep cats in a bag in the first place?

Voices in the door...

There are things unexplained
That lie beneath the wood grain.
Thunder echoes from every knock
Turning my stomach into knots.
Childhood fears and childhood dreams,
Childhood brain conjures childhood things:
Well maybe there are people,
Between the plywood they hide!
...Or maybe it's their yelling
Just on the other side.

Thank God we have one more who follows after me
To cushion the joints of this dysfunctional family.
And if his adhesive won't stick,
Well then I'm afraid this is it.

322,406

After two weeks,
I'm too weak to do this alone,
But I am nowhere near shame.
Things will never be the same
Since this wound above my heart is big
From putting something in
So hearty,
So heavy
That I cannot fathom carrying on my own.

But whether I like it or not,
It will soon be my time
To finally grow...
And finally go.

Try losing your keys
In the city of Boston,
Or losing your mind
Right here in L.A.
And all the while, this collaboration
Seems to go against an entire nation,
While the Rockies try to keep you in
And you're stood up by the Appalachians.

We close our eyes
In hopes to close our minds
To a decision we know is tough.
Hell, it's not even here
And it would not be forever...
But it sure will be close enough.

Buffer

Here are the words
That are placed between spaces,
Here are the shoes
Sporting two untied laces,
Here are the heads,
Erased canvas,
No faces,
Here are the lines
Slowly
Sweeping
My traces.

Is this truly abstract?
Did this really just happen?
This is meaningful action,
For the sake of distraction.

Heat Panned Left

This time I'll try
To be a little more sly
In my approach,
Like the fairways of filters
In our throats for when we spoke.
All in hope that we didn't choke
On our intricate alibis,
Explaining in detail
The events of two nights ago,
The strong controlled flow
Of every element we know:
No earth,
Nor wind,
Nor fire,
But touch,
And breath,
And desire.

But this dam is not made of hardened sand,
A lustful man's work
With the appearance of the quirks
Of a three-year-old hand.
No, this dam reaches
And this dam feels
With steel
Backed with steel,
Backed with steel,
Backed with steel,
Protecting a core of perpetual heart
With blood vessels spanning the distance
Apart.
Churning and churning,
Turning the knot in your gut
(Like that time you thought
That there wasn't enough)
Into a bow on the pillow
That sat on the bed
That I never warmed with
The heat of my head.

And the next morning
We smirked at our screens
As we recalled the things that now recline
In the back of our minds
After running three and forgetting the rest,
A mental test
That proved to be the best in the stretch
As we had stretched our arms
At five in the morning...
So I laugh at the thought
Of you telling her this story.

I tell you mine and I tell you my past's
So you can really get to know
How long this has lasted.
Longer than the L.A. snow,
The lights that hung low
From my roof in December...
Longer than you ever thought you'd remember.

I sit at this shady table,
Anti-social and gaining all sorts of labels,
To tell you I'm going to do
Whatever I'm able to do
To not make the same mistake of our elders,
And instead of an end,
This will get even better.

Catfish Pie

So here I show you
My utmost appreciation,
Not only through movement
But in abstract recitation
That will never do you
Any justice
For when I fell asleep
And awoke in a dream:
Morning sun,
Breathing you into my lungs.

So here's a lengthy one
For the one I love so much
Because if I am the stagger
Then you are always the crutch,
And if every word brings you further
Into a state of disbelief,
The you'll soon be raving mad,
Made with love
Addressed from me.

Kakaw! I never saw this coming,
Roles reversed, but nonetheless
In the dark, we start humming
To the strumming of familiar tunes
And reenact the dreams I had
In the scorching nights of June...
But the cast is new
And it's just me and you.

So here we lied
Looking at each other
Through blurry eyes,
And we held each other like a moment,
Holding tight,
Hoping it would never,
Ever,
Die.
And we made memories to dance
In a waltz, three-four time
With the songs that were baked
Into this fresh catfish pie.

Three

On the stage

In the sky

By my side,

My lucky stars

Have no intent to die.

Oh no, no, no...

This is my anthem

This is my best of.

Extract from my past

Emotional moments

The motion of romance,

Under second hand light,

Felt by notes hit just right...

And my god, does this glove fit!

But you'd be crazy to think

I'd ever quit.

We're alive in the night

No lights under the door,

This is so real

And everything

I could ever

Ask for,

Without even saying a word...

Natural Light

Suddenly,
God's dry erase crumbles off our skin
Exposing identity and original sin,
But for what?
The hours overwritten
To write another new,
That will become another overwritten
To be once again renewed.

My love is a clean slate,
And we paint the canvas with our skin.
Our heart is our palette
Our tongue is our brush,
Our eyes of no use
Our lips better hushed.

So we found our gold
In a patch of green
With red in our cheeks
And blue in the sky.

A sole white balloon
Wanders and drifts
Flowing with the current
Of those misty ships,
But that sea is of nothing
Only mirrored glass.
These kisses are locked
With the strands of your hair
And your licking your lips
Because we're truly on air.

Matters of Worth

Some days I hope that

The tint, the sweaters, and the jackets

Would sometimes stop the racket

That is defined

By true lies.

This house is of concrete,

Its windows abstract...

How ugly.

Even this heard, by resolving words,

Just builds a foundation

Deeper into sand.

I'd write a message on this tablet

That would be forgotten in an instant,

The tongue has been disarmed

And I'm as helpless as an infant.

I can sulk because I can

And you can wander in the woods,

But this shepherd is no man

And he does nothing that he could

To save himself. 

Matters of Wanting

Disregard for the bars

Set when this all began,

I push them away

With a reckless hand.

Idle and wild...

My chosen lifestyle,

Growing without restraint,

Tainting the roots that hold

This towering tree.

I'm a hollowed out oak

Soaked in sour milk.

My legs wobble on this mud pie hill

And this angered god has his hand

On his hilt.

His merciless justice

Will slaughter earth's sow

And this abor will serve in the wind

As my plow.

Clouds

I've found the beauty
In the moment's breath,
My life carefully drawn
From violets to reds.
I'm enjoying the secrets
That discrete details hide
And seeing the world
Through glittery eyes.
I'm dancing with the sun,
Golden and round...
I guess I had a turn around.
And I'm proud to say that ever since,
I've been drinking my tea
With airplanes and blimps.

A Hush Through A Smile

Pencil in that nothing
That will turn into something
Stretching out inconspicuous seams,
Eating at your evening
Without anyone seeing.

Make a bed that was never slept in,
Clean the face that was never dirtied,
And say goodbye to the ghost
You persistently hurried all night...
This is the good fright,
Found under soft light.

Those magnetized headlights
Push my car away
And in my cunning getaway,
I pull back the moon roof
And under the veil of my engine
Roaring loud,
And I tilt back my head
To throw whispers in the clouds.

Oil Slicks On Ice

Like the gleam in your eyes
Like the very first time,
This cannot be labeled
This can't be defined.

Alignment

There was a tear
In the fabric of time
That sent my mind careening
Into an infinite wall.
But there is no use in stitching
A wound always itching...

So I cover it deep
With new memories I keep
Because the engine has stalled,
All the doors are locked,
And we're suspended in space.

Yet face-to-face,
We are here, pressure-free
Since there is freedom of intention
When playing in the darkness
Of the fourth dimension.

Engines & Locks

As I stood
A thousand feet tall,
I began to recall
The thousand times before,
Wondering what I was waiting for
When city lights stunk like onions
And brought tears to my eyes
When annual winds would sigh
At this dismal sight:
Me, wasting away my night.
A slave to my sex
And acoustic sets.

The year started
With a predicate
Without a nominative.
A run-on sentence,
Running on
Chance,
Change and
Difference.

Oh, this was brought on
By coincidental design,
A bright night pieced together
Like a dynamite Lite-Brite.

You took the fuse
And burned it,
Now I'll put in the key
And turn it.

This Note Was Supposed To Be Burned

I was anxiously waiting
As you spelled out silent secrets
Until they decomposed
And you fell asleep.

But as soon as I forgot,
You forgot your need.
And it was then when we proceeded,
Step by step,
As slow as we needed.
A succession of breaths
From yours to mine
Varying by position
Varying in time.
But this lab needs no coats
And this reality needs no hope
Because this is all I need,
And you are all I need.

Our innocent traits
Reach through these guilty gates
With our courteous sieves
And we keep eye contact
When it tightens and gives
Tightens and gives.
Opened or closed,
Heavy or slow,
The inexplicable lives
When it tightens and gives.

Memorable,
Darkened,
Images and
Recollections
Of softest touch
Of softest voice
This is freedom of thirst
This is freedom of choice.

The Californian lifestyle
And our colorful lights I'll
Hang like streamers
On this commercial jet.
And you'll grab them tight,
And I will too,
Because of this something I've found
That I'll never forget.

And my biggest clue
Was that it was there
Before I even knew.
Before I even saw it.
Before I could draw the masks
Out of my closet.
Flimsy and elastic,
Of paper
Of plastic.
And yet,
Still you laughed and you cried...
Before the red was even drawn.

It is that yawn
When you feel that long drive coming on
It is that kiss good night
When you feel that something here is right.
It was when,
I knew you then.
This is how,
I feel you now.

I do not know what love will be,
But it seems that I've lost the necessity to dream...

Lust Songs

So now I find myself
Pushing the sun against
This beautifully pale vista,
Because I've discovered
Another source of energy
Satisfying,
Electrifying,
A pleasant mix with
Fire, wine, and jazz.
And in that fulfillment
Physical,
Verbal,
I meant it.
And I think I'm uncovering
Something authentic.

O, how you're only assertive
When the lights are off
And the game has already started...

These Moments Shared

I step out into the cold
The arms of the bear,
Breathing
In the cold air
Thinking
Of your scented hair.
So here we are,
Sweet isolation
A starlit sensation.

And when I forgot to breathe,
Everything was still
And everything was seen.

Come For The Bull

I've found comfort in understanding
This outstanding situation,
Free of manipulation,
Simple and pure,
As sure as this sacred air that we breathe
Blessed with the truths
That come out when we speak.

This oddity is a normalcy within itself
And so we fit better in the mold that they made.
We teased at the thought,
In the casing we played.

So it will hide and it will show
In the back of our minds
With a faint subtle glow
Because some secrets are kept safe,
And they are better that way.

Snowy Plover & Least Tern

Five glasses on
Two bottles in,
These drawings don't make any sense
But we love them anyways
And yeah, it's the good pain
Pinching at our sides,
And we're laughing so hard
That we think we might die.

And later,
After basking in the glory
Of going south and north again
Reaching for the past, but then going back home
To a future unknown,
Exciting,
And surely dehydrating...
My body yearns for that water
My tongue a dried sponge
Placing cracked whispers in your ear.

Now what?
We follow,
We chase,
We vary the pace at which
We provide and circumvent.
Until beats divide my breath,
Never to rest
Until we put it to rest.
Actions speak louder than words
Until the actions provoke the words
That provoke the action...

And in that moment,
Things came to life,
With a beat of their own.

It's something no one else will ever understand.

The Essence of Existence

Hyperventilation,
Demanding isolation,
The abstract structure of this universe
Has fallen apart.

I.
Can't.
See.
Beyond.
What.
Is.
Seen.

My eyes focus on nothing
Searching my brain,
Searching my surroundings,
For an answer.
There is no cure for this cancer.
There are nothing but bodies.
Interacting,
Temporarily animated,
Bodies.
Chemical.
Electrical.
Physical.

Where is God?

May future be my remedy
May I come to terms this,
This ending of life.
Because I'm not going to lie to you...
I am terrified.

This Tall Blue Bridge

It was a few years back,
Dressing nice in suit and tie
Celebrating a joyous moment
That I was never a part of,
But rather apart from.
There was moonlight in my glass
And champagne on the ice.

William told me to love,
So I closed my eyes and fired.
But the stray bullets got tired
And skidded to a halt
To sink and to sink...
Towards the deep floors
Scarred with faults,
And it calls to me.
And it falls for me.

So I sat at the stern
And I contemplated lessons learned.
All the while,
White tipped waves made V's in the night
As the skyline blurred in the absence of light

But now,
Oh now,
You startle the mind
With your arms still reaching high over the sea,
Holding heaven from this hell called the ocean's deep.

Apparently, you need a stepladder to reach for salty skies...

Crash!
Go the waves as I run into their arms
Curling me in with no sense of alarm.
Bang!
Goes the spectrum that splashes between clouds
Themselves being sponges of colors so loud.
This is the fabled springtime assault,
And I will be this season's martyr
And I will take all the fault!

Die, die, die before I am slain by the weekday!
It weakens me by the day,
Until I choke on my calender and throw up on my page.
An essay is a body that must be created
But I fear that mine may be destroyed.
This is too much work for a man of my age
Regurgitating deadlines on a neatly-boxed page.
My time is almost up, and if I make it,
I'll be gone.

We'll be driving towards the sun
As the ocean air swirls through the vibrant skies.
Our arms will be wings dangling out the windows,
Catching the wind as we begin to fly...

But these adverse currents make the work horse slow,
Still I'm measuring my freedom in hours to go!

2-2

I stared in the mirror for far too long
And the person I once knew
Was gone.
Dear God... am I getting older?
These fault lines darken
And become so much bolder.

So I retrace the wrinkles on my face,
Created from courtesy
Created from jealousy
Created from anger
Created from grace.
It is weathered,
Worn down with a sewn-on idle frown
...But all in all, I do not mind
So I laugh at my face while I suck on these limes.

But this silence can shoot down a thousand lies
By the fear from staring in familiar eyes
And duct flowers blossom with every blink
For the stranger standing here at my bathroom sink.

The Updraft

Long ago,
I gave up searching for ways
To rationalize accelerating days
Because the only sure calculation
Was wasting them with hesitation
Talking to the doctor
And lying on the chaise
Searching for those ways,
Wasting all those days...

I let go when I had a dream to call home
A sparkler in my pocket
Writing names, dates, and places
In blank spaces in my mind.
What beautiful cursive it wrote
Crooked and continuous
Through one stream of
Soft, soothing smoke.

This is finding comfort in defining flaws
This is dressing up for your conference calls
This is swimming my waters you lovingly test
This is
What is
To say
The best
I've been.
This love is a kite, and it's caught in the wind...

A Philosophy On Educational Sweets

Oh, the hype we make
And the stipends we pay,
Our hours spent meeting
Deadlines!
Deadlines!
Flat-line...
You're dead!

Aye, there's the rub
That you rub in the sides of your head.
But these blistering balloons are filled
With nothing but air!
So sit down and take the time
To get the knots out of your hair...

We win some, we lose some,
But cool kids like us
Have enough love in our lives
And enough color in our eyes
To make positives out of anything,

It just adds up.

Future Perspective from an Eastbound Window

This chaparral,
My chaparral
Is the West Coast's beauty mark
That isn't hard to mark
From a plane a couple miles in the air
When his time away ticks
On my homemade heart attack.

Yeah,
It's the waves goodbye
The bring us right back
And these mix CD's make me just want to stay more
As I look back on what used to be mine
Lost in the shimmer of the California shoreline...

Under Review

I'll remember this day
And I'll see if I'm broken
In or apart
Through blood type and through heart,
Yes, this marks the start.
And the drafts are all but drafty,
And rather hot off the press.

You've made me reevaluate.
You've made me appreciate
The damn clever ways this world works,
Through the warmth of your words
And our reflections in our quirks

But oh, you know this feeling
And maybe,
I'm dealing with dealing with dealing with—
So I play this song one more time
Until its words come to life,
And it sounds as if we really made it...

Manquer et Aimer

Sunrays cascade on familiar grounds
And shake from the courtyards
Familiar sounds.
It is the warmth of vibartion
From the sunlight and the voices
That will forever,
Forever,
Remind me of my choices.

They're the ones that I made
And the ones that made me,
When I never thought to let go
Of that tough, bloody organ
As I clutched it by the aches
Until it was sore again.

These four colors
Are the last of their kind
That I'll ever see.
Blue,
Black,
Red,
Green.
But as I twirl with brushes
On my radial edges,
The ledge extends
And becomes so much steeper
As the mixed paints bring meaning
To a depth so much deeper.

It is the abyss of blind bliss
Found in absence of light
So it may not be found with the power of sight,
But by giving that tough, bloody organ a fight.

Et à la fin de ce bon journée,
Je n'avais pas vécu ce dont j'ai rêvé.
J'avais rêvé de quoi j'ai vécu,
Et je me lamente sur le temps j'ai perdu.

Sedimentary Elements of Elementary Sediments

The clouds in my eyes
Have reached forecasted highs
And these thunderclap fables
Are times tables well-known,
And electrical spines
Follow tracelines pre-shown,
And these storms remain as easy to spot
As predicting rain after the first dozen drops.

So I stop rewound clocks
To taste old words on my lips
From a serum of cycles
Of which I took slow sips.
And now I loosen my neural grip
On bow-set dreams on phantom ships,
Because this is far from a love story
And the wait is getting painfully boring...

Now I look up to the sky
And sigh as stars show there faces.
In their evening's good graces,
Our earth's celestial dividend,
I pull out a pen to connect dotted lights.
I restring the laces of deep outer space
Counting degrees within corners I made,
And I let out a sigh once more
As I connect one last dot on the far eastern shore.
And everything comes around
And everything comes together
When the cleared weather shows the glow of my angels
In synaptic loops at three-hundred-sixty angles.

Heisenberg, You Don't.

Give me enough time,
Or none at all,
And I'll promise you
These things will come loose.
Rocks into glitter
That add shimmer to the seas
Trees paraplegic
And then put on their knees

Kneel to the king
Kneel to the king
Bow to the power
No power can bring

I'm pleading ambivalent.
A friend's loss at the cost
Of preempting the pain,
My own from unknown paths
From which nothing gained.
I stand still
And you walk away
While I prepare speeches
On teleprompt display.

So now I stand in the shower
Washing my skin with degausser and soap.
And with swabs in my ears
For a conscience absolved,
I sit back on the glass
And watch dreams dissolve.

A Little Bit of Self-Preservation

Every morning you wake
With worry in your hair,
And concern on your chest,
And burden on your shoulders.
But it's thrown off with the covers
Of your skin getting older,
So actions come bolder
And others come dead
And you comb out the rest
With the bed in your head.

We have mirrors for mirrors
So we're never alone
And we count up the reasons
To never leave home.
And then dies suspense
When you count up your cents:
There's one for your blessings,
Two for your views,
Three for the wheel,
And four to see clues.

And every day is another chance
To ask life for just one more dance
And when she asks to what kind
You respond in combo:
A little bit of mambo,
A little bit of jive,
And a little bit of staying alive...

Slow For Crossing (You Talk Too Much)

These candles on my birthday cake
Leave burns only skin deep
And I try to keep things sane
But the task becomes more difficult
When things remain the same.

It's become comfort in habit,
A finger-wagging nun
Shunning my selfish sins
Burning the bastard bins
Because these thoughts don't deserve a breath
So I throw a curse as I breathe your breath.

In,
Out,
Spout another to be past about.
Spawned from narcissism
Spawned from sin
Spawned in the dregs of the bastard bin.

I cross your street with a shopping list,
A succession of thoughts,
A pattern never missed,
But its effectiveness is to be marked
Like shooting bullets in the air,
Like talking like there's no one there.

And it's hard to make peace and restock the shelves
When you've made their lives a living hell,
When your dreams don't live past ringing bells,
When your greatest enemy is only yourself.

An Pog

Here's the situation:
The eyes of our nation
Are on
You.
And my question is:
What do you have to prove?
You point and fire the lead,
Then put your hands
On your perspiring head,
And don't move...
Just what do you think they'll do?

You throw all your friends
In the magnetic tide
As electrical storms
Prick holes in their eyes.
Polarized,
Neutral.
Charged,
Neutral.
Neutral,
Neutral.
Polarized,
Charged.

I charge the gates
Then slowly back away.
I cry innocent are guilty
With nothing else to say.

I hope that maturity will find a way
To process my thoughts
And set things straight,
Because my only control
Is my hope in fate,
And I can't clean up
Every mess that I make.

Supplementeddy Bear

We all have our secrets and dress them with phrases,
Genius but disingenuous
All to get in your good graces.
I keep the prongs grounded
To hold back the shock,
The jaw dropping
Heart stopping
Unlocking of locks.
My talk is my silence
My blanks mostly lies,
And I can relate with all
And none of these guys.

I'm stuffed.
And if you knew what I know,
You'd also think it's enough.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
But I've hit the wall.
These clothes don't quite fit
And I can't stand your call.
These notches aren't worth it.
I'm just an aside.
But a trike needs three wheels
So I'm here for the ride...

The Subconscious Drift Into An Unknown Stage

My jealousy is overwritten easily

And forgotten all too soon

When tucked in the front seat

Staring up at the moon,
When out on the couch
Bodies warmly in tune...

This is 3am with no traffic, both ways
Where the ticks have no value
And thus, the moment stays.

This is being caught between the changing of the days.

Sweet Sing Along, Three Hours Long

You step back one
But march on two more
Slowly but steadily,
We build our levees to bear the load
Of currents heavy though separated,
Those words you said you hated:
I won't be here next year.

So I draw theoretical tears
On the blueprint map,
Preemptive of a future near
And so I say what there is to say,
The unspoken truth
The decay of youth,
Just to get it out of the way,
And let life live until death,
Until our breaths reek with rich past
Aged like wine and fermented in time,
A love supreme
For a long in between.

So when none other does pass
Than the desire for responsive glass,
Pass the word to the grade school suckers,
I wish their reputation and pockets good luck!
We don't need a DJ,
We don't need chaperones.
Because all we need, we've got:
A dance party of our own.

Spectroanalysis

If I've learned something
From counting tallies on weathered walls
And playing catch with tethered balls,
Morning does not dictate the day
And latter shades of blue will do something to you too.

From yearning in your dreams,
Odd and unheld,
To waking up to things
Unfinished.
But departure will shake your core
Until you can't take any more of the sound
And just as it gets worse,
Your feet leave the ground.
Then suddenly the air doesn't seem so dense
And the patchwork farms patch up and make sense
The clouds reveal the daybreak's suspense
While you squint to see life
In a new lens.

Everything falls into place
With a controlled steady pace:
Your heart in my hands,
Your awkward phrases I heard
Like the sound of baby's laughter
While you sing the wrong words

Singing Sticky Love Notes

Peel off the claps that adhere on the walls
One after the other
Like Poprocks in the sky
Borderline boulder-sized

Slip off the symphony of sounds
The boys you spent your nights with
Talking with mouths zipped
And peace pistols gripped

Hold off the hungry-hearted man
Spilling into this medium
Sealing them in a melody
Coated in flavorful trills
Steaming the window sills

Then,
It is just one note.
It is steady
It is rhythmic
It is smooth
It is beautiful
It is love.

Now,
Open your eyes to the rest.
It is loud
It is mysterious
It is connecting
It is colorful
It is life.

They go hand in hand, side by side,
So take a bow and love your life.

Magnet Theory

This moment is a moment
And forever never more...
But preceding the dream
Came much closer things,
The tidal turns that context brings.
But within or without,
The riptide may not hide
What sandy assumptions buried in confidence.

In this once thought of providence,
One can get close, but can never stay,
And this asymptotic function goes both ways.
And I found the problematic solution
Indifferent in resolution
In the wine on his breath
And buzz in his eyes.

And as the old man preached
I mistakened his scent for my own
And it sent me months back
To laughing at the sun
Burning in playful embarrassment
And leaning on its shoulders,
At least ten fold in strength,
On a rooftop overlooking the Mexican border...

And so when it comes to the theory
Of relations and lies,
Things are more or less
Demagnetized.

Without Direction

This compass twirls and curtsies in ballet flats
As question marks prance on arterial maps.
I fire flares for no one there,
A shooting star with an arc of smoke
Upon which I wish,
But then I choke.

Help!
I'm lost and without direction
And there are too many paths to my pictured perfection.

When Mama Thinks You're A Murderer

On atlases, there are lines

On maps, there are crosses
But heading south towards the mouth of the gulf,

The border gets fuzzy
And blends into the horizon,
So I open the glove compartment to put all my lies in.

Indifference is a silent coward
And it devours the soul
Until the point where you don't know what's thinking
And you're blinking your yes's and no's
Just to make this go a bit slower.
But that road is too far and out of sight

And looking back on the unfolding of the night,
There were highways in its creases that we never did know.

I am a parasite,
Sucking the light from your sweet summer glow
From the veins in your body that provide luscious flow.
I clear the shelves with my words
And sprawl it out across the room,
I lay you out nice and neat
And all the while I still assume
There is nothing but wadding crumpled up in this shell
But this wadding may be my punched ticket to hell.

The Primary

It was our world in the purest form

Reds, blues, and yellows

From which our colors were born.

The colors torn through to make

A scar in the aura of this setting sun.

Millennia of advancements

In atmospheric make up

Have made her exit gaudy

And a bit overrated.

This is the picture perfect you paint:

The texture, the shading, the harlot, the saint.

You show me the ceiling,

You show me the man,

But all that's in focus are the artist's fine hands.

Kinesthetic

He is the kid who wants broken toys
For what they once had been:
The glossy picture in the magazine
Swirling up dreams and fanciful things.

And there is no intimidation in a garbage bin
Because he doesn't think he'll ever understand
Until he has the pieces in his hand
Put together with his strongest glues,
The laces on his shoes,
Adorned with sad, sticky bubblegum blues.
And the result will be...
Whatever it was supposed to be.
But his hellbent knees won't take a stand
Until the final product is in his hand.

You're a moonlight surprise
With your lovely dyes
And he shields you with his eyes,
Because he can't with his arms
And he sees how those kids admire your charm...

Even this boy gets tired from staying up nights
And all the while, his growth he stints
His youthful distractions avert his sight
But he can't have this fade until next Christmas print.

My Best Mistake

Don't think I think
That this is a game
Because I don't give a damn
How the cards are played
I don't care about technique.
I don't care about reason.
I don't care about style.
All I know
Is this is the best mistake
I've made in a while...

And these heavy eyes
Just won't hide my lies
So these lips are bent to show a smile,
And all the while my limbs do ache
From a tiring night my dreams do make
Sweat-soaked to the core,
More fatigued than the day before.

But the morning comes
And your song I hum
With a dance of glance symphonies,
Accompanied with a smile.

52 Pick-Up

This room is made of lights
That assault the eyes
That swirl into the center
In which they finally die

This room is made of sounds
That drip out of sync
That are muffled and dank
And too thick to drink

This room is made of cards
That line my four walls
That expand with a breath
But on exhale they fall

This room is made of nothing
This room is my head
This room is too tired
And going to bed.

Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro

It takes two clicks to go home
But four to go far away...
Starting familiar, but making your way
To whatever you want,
There's no need to speak
When phrased just right
And kept in the beat.
Fifteen songs deep
Five hours long
..and we're still going strong.
With sores on our hands
And cramps in our feet.

This is conversation without the tongue
This is the fire without the gun
This is sparking a dream without a light
This is battling life without a fight

This was the day we decided to ditch
This was the best idea we pitched
And when the chorus shook the floor,
We weren't in Kansas anymore.

What I meant to say was...

You are a lot more
And there is an ocean beyond that shoreline.
Infinite depth...
And with an intimate breath,
You let it be known.
And how your flourishing waters have grown
Teeming with beaming rays of light
Riding the ripples from laughing at life.
Your secrets are smiles
And moonlight has shone
Your heart is the sun
Your ocean, its home.

You are all,
And all it contains:
The pretty, dirty bottles
With touching text,
But paper plain,
The shy shells that sink
But peek in the sand,
Hiding but yearning a curious hand.
Unintended perfection
Without direction
A precious phenom
A something to lean on.
You are more than the crests' reach,
More than the roar and sizzle
As they crash on the beach...
You are a lot more.
This, I am sure.

And now I try to make up
For sleepy words I made up,
So go put down your make up
Because you are beautiful the way you are.

Believe Me (Or Don't, Whichever's In My Favor)

I've taken the day off to reevaluate my life
I've taken my shoes off to step back into the night
Backwards,
Box by box in calendars,
My millstone is my clock.

I hum nostalgic tunes
As I rummage through the ruins.
Do you remember when?
Do you remember then?
It was all simple there
The head before the hair.
The voice before the words.
The rise before the fall.
But youth ends,
And split ends tell you
Things aren't quite the same,
Are they?

In retrospect,
I never said it right.
In retrospect,
I never saw the light.

I try to differentiate
Between mirrors and glass
The fun house of present
Blurs future and past
And we strive for conclusions
From distorted confusion

Some wish for too much and fall down the well
When everyone already has someone else.
I'll try not to make the mistake of our youth,
But people like masks more than they like the truth.

Flaccid

The collar is stiff and close to your skin,
Checking your pulse,
Checking your moves,
Finding the wrinkly grooves of your neck
To burrow itself like you'd never expect

It's got you, my friend,
And it softens your sense
Nerve by nerve
From the softest incisions,
Softer than hands made to emphasize visions,
Your visions so grand
Filled with splashes of light
That show in your future.
That show in your eyes.

Just for once, open up!
Unbutton down and be proud,
Because I can't wait to see
How this crease irons out.

Wires and Stilts

We put God in a rocket ship
And sent him up in the air,
Turquoise paper mache
With cotton ball lint,
To keep tabs on the asteroids' flicker and glint
To spend all his nights
Watching planets and satellites...
And anything else to help him get through the night

And so He sits there idly
While we idolize our prize:
The jealousy
The hunger
The lust in our eyes.
Because God's taken care of
And there's no need to lie.

Though my closest absolution
Was the solution to a hectic dawn.
Hours up before the alarm,
I held your limp frame in my arms.
I kept you warm in this metal cage
And cherished the innocence of youthful age

Be good.
And do everything I should've done
Because before you know it
You'll be under the gun
At the end of a path of a life overrun
With leaves
That leave
Yourself with an itch,
Insatiable burning felt under the stitch
Placed on your chest for when you forget
What you've always been wearing that hung on your neck.

A Fitting Career For A Faded Star

It's time to invest in a future
That will mask all my sutures
I'm a young man without plans
Put in permanent ink.
I wrote the right
In pencil-scribed scripts
That lived in my eyes
And read from my lips
But the graphite and friction
Turned my words into fiction
And now all that I carry is gray.

Your hopes left the door open wide
So the clouds in the sky found their way inside.
So now I stare at this haze
Looking for a sentimental way
To say nothing.

And from the cycle of reason to heart,
The haze on the page
Turns to black and white bars
And the rush in my veins
To resuscitate this heart
Has made my face pale
And my sullen stare far.

I am a mime
And I freeze life in mine
To grab the eyes of unconcerned passers by
For a quarter, a nickel, a penny of time
To throw in a hat, presented with tricks
But my final act squanders each second hand quick
In situations that grow until well overripe
While I sit in my cell wearing sad silent stripes.

When An Orphan Looks Up

You spend the new year sitting out in the snow,
Counting the seconds until fireworks blow.
You watch them erupt in colors and sparks
And smoke fills your lungs
As the lights fill your heart.
But never to last as the seconds do pass
And the dark in your heart comes flowing back fast.

You spend your birthday with your head in your knees,
Letting the cardboard box hang in the trees.
Filled with delights meant to sweeten your tongue,
Haunting your dreams in the way that it hung.
Instead you stayed in and counted your years,
Burning in wax
Burning in tears.
A smile flashes quick when their blown out at last,
But the cries in your eyes come flowing back fast.

You spend Christmas day looking back on the days,
Slowing accepting your young hope's decay.
And the nuns who know none,
But the word of their Savior,
Tell you, "Cheer up, God don't like bad behavior!"
So you thicken your skin for another year's blast
And the lies in your mind come flowing back fast.

...But this cycle's no circle
And this year you'll learn.
All the other kids left you
But now it's your turn.

You've got a couple signing papers,
You've got a yearbook in a locket,
There are marbles in your hand,
And even more in your back pocket.

The Vegas Sessions

This is the dance between serpent and man,
And this is when things really get out of hand.

A Noticeable Change

How unfortunate,
That our evening rains and syrup stains
Have turned into frequencies heard in our ears
Whose soft ring fades
Until we can no longer hear it
And I'm playing chicken with the quiet
And your auto-pilot mindset
Is my best bet that I bust
This time,
Though not more,
But in context,
Too much.

I respect your move
And thus I lose
The contact
The connection
The combat
The convection

My cover's blown
And my scarlet stains show
How long I have left
And how much I don't.

And as the numbers dwindle down
Your name becomes more prominent
Intimidating and dominant,
So my hesitating persists
As I resist to speak.
My blood fills my lungs
My tongue tastes of gun
My throat clogs with clots
My chest airs with shots
So my mind fills with screams
Only heard in my dreams
As I slowly lose grip
From what's real
To what seems.

Medic!
Medic!
Will you hold my hand?
Just give me the morphine,
I want to understand.

Like Any Other

Today was the day
That came after the last,
In nothing it lacked
In nothing surpassed.
Just the way I like it.

Reattach the cord
And take back the name
And watch it become
Like all else, the same.
Just the way I like it.

I put up my speakers
Against the calls
And paint my ignorance
Over cliched walls.
Just the way I like it.

Today was a day
Without love, without lovers
And I went through this day
Just like any other...
Just the way I like it.

Don't Mention It

And in that one sentence
It lived and it died
But went to the limbo inside my mind
I didn't bother to ask
You didn't bother to tell
And we all know well
That we don't know at all,
I don't know at all.
Or at least don't know
If it wants to be known
Or how low the bar will actually go

...But we move on,
Digress,
And let it rest with the rest.

"BAM!" went the barrel
When I pulled on the trigger,
A 12-gauge page to make their eyes get bigger.
Put your concerns down in clay,
Then fire away,
This is right now, so tell chance to go figure.

Sudden Changes

I won't see it
Until you throw it at me
But once hatched and dispatched
You create something that cannot be matched.
And you'd swear it was true...
If only you knew, huh?
You thought you did too, huh?

Giggles from their eyes
Squiggles from her pen
Tell me I don't need to do it again
If I find something,
I'll tell you when
You're just getting to know
What I had known then.
It sure is something
It's pure
It's loving

But this was the grin
And here came the smile...
And as spring parted her lips
I drank her in with tiny sips
Oh, how she spoiled me
And uncoiled the tension
So it felt nice
So it felt delightful

...I'll take it!
And I'll leave it at that.
And that is the cycle of life
Seeing colors, hues, and shades light
As we paint our canvas of every day
And soak our skin in sugared rain

Looking Back to See My Future

Right before the city sleeps
The sun peaks in under cumulus sheets
And splashes a little gold in our eyes.
She won't ever go any higher
And will gracefully fall in a fit of gray fire...

But you, my child,
Rise,
Rise,
Rise!
I peer into your eyes
And see my own life.
Forever the same,
Though displaced by time,
Your head
Your heart
Your blood,
In mine.

So I hope you don't plan on leaving too soon,
Because I'm here to break you a deal:
I'll carry your body and hold your hands
Until you've become strong and brave,
And then in good time,
And when it is mine,
You'll tucked me down into my grave.

False Pretenses and The Event Horizon

I winced at your proclamation:
You'll go out cold, rejecting the donors
On matters of their owners.
You are no martyr, just a starter of fires
And your vacant claims put us all on the stake.

This is a travesty of the chemicals I call love.
But the days grapple over one another
And the muscles in my face knot
So these expressions, I've forgotten.

And this deceptive film over my eyes
Has got me counting
Phantom stars in the sky
One, two, then one again
This tearjerking motion will never end.
Throw me the tissues,
We've all got our issues.
Just where are you heading
When you're bedding with sheddings?

Sleep now, or never hold your peace,
Because I'm already in pieces
And there are no sins left
To die for my Jesus.

Terribly Sweet

I go in with the rain down my back
I go out with God's covers thrown back.
He lets out a cool sigh,
Blowing the clouds right on by...
There's snow on the mountain tops, you see
And I've got this moment to spend
With only me,
But I don't mind.
This is a special, yet subtle
Lapse in time.

Even if the cold bites at my fingers
I'll do anything to make this moment linger
Its innocuous stinger has me in silenced amazement
This magnetized majesty
Is holding me back from the rest of my day
(Of no greater importance if I may say...)

Just keep the fires away
This is all I need
Letting her aura plant her seeds.
So bloom in my heart
Take me away
As we make this progression
To skylines from day

This is nature's kiss on the cheek.
This is taking my rights to speak.
This is what live for.
This is what I would die for.
This is dusk.

But now that my hands lose their touch
I fear that I have said too much.
So I'll let the glacier sky
Speak softly for me,
Yes,
Things like these are terribly sweet...

Something New

The rainclouds' sweet crackle and glaze
In the sunset's soft and silver rays
Surely sets me back a few days.
It's the warmth of familiarity,
Old-time hilarity.
An assault of spastic contractions
From unrecognizable actions
Leave me on the main drag,
Post-party promenade mystery bag.

I'm your purebred airhead waiting at the door
Wide-eyed with relief because I needed
Some more,
More of this...
I needed my fix.
So fix me on your nightstand
And give me your hand
And tell me if you don't understand
That so easily,
And so clear to me,
I can picture every one of them I know
Dragging their sacks of unwonted sorrow
And all that I can say is "You're gonna carry that weight."

Music to My Ears

I wake up to the beat,
The pitter-patrer and the breeze,
Synchonized blows
On my windows,
I think I'll sleep in,
Lose myself just for a while.
I think I'll sink in,
Rediscover soul and style.
I think I'll drink in,
Feedback, overdrive, 30-day trial.

Say hey,
This here today,
Some rules were broken anyways
Self-imposed and restrictive,
Sick, mirrored, and vindictive.
And you know,
Soft skin scars easy
And I don't want to spend my days
Telling anachronistic ghost stories,
But this right here
Is music to my ears...

Quieting the Caterwauls

Today came as fast as she left
And with a twist of her wrist
And a glimpse of her palm
She was there and gone.

We want lovers like our knowledge
The mysterious intrigue.
But I can only press the knife
So hard
Until it breaks skin,
And it's scary being friends
With a damn good liar.

It's no longer getting farther
From the beginning,
It's getting closer to the end
Where I'm simultaneously
Letting something go,
But grabbing onto something else.

And you can blame fate for a day like today
Tearing time tables to have it their way
I am guarding the sleep
I am starting the heart
And I point to the skies
To tell them how far.

Covalent Bonds

As the Vorshtein once said
From rivers to deltas to oceans of lead,
The are levees leveled
The dams are down
And I'm drowning in color
And the beautiful sound
In the fragrance that's found
In sweet fields abound.
Merrily, merrily,
Rain falls down.

And every bend in the sky
Wrings out tears to dry her eyes
It's wonderful...
Yes, yes,
It's marvelous...
Less, less,
Light in the sky
The crescent of the moon
Pulling in waters
And making more room.

This is the floor on which we dance.
Why ask for more?
This is your chance.
But hurry,
Please hurry.
My sight's getting blurry
And night's winter flurry
Will be sure to bury ourselves in the waves
And seaweed will dress our waterlogged graves.

But for now you can't tell me that this is a crime,
For all the worlds tears are now mixing with mine...
This soft ticking bomb puts a date on the line
And the lush downpour sloughs the callus of time.

Esoteric

You work by the candle
You work by the night
And every so often...
Sneak glances to the right
And it's a thought of the same
Balding tires in game.
Wear them down,
Round and round,
Until you're gliding on the rims of your car
And your rear view's a show of excitement and sparks
This is assuming you can get this far...
You may lose your rights to your very own life
To the tragic concoction of asphalt and ice.

Our earthly seeds
Nurture our needs
And through autumn leaves
A pattern proceeds:
This heart works on clocks
It's supply and demand
And the bloodiest head rush
Wouldn't help you understand.

∞

Did I ever tell you
What you've already been told?
I think the story never gets old...
You're buried in calculations
Lost in translation
Trapped in a set of infinite rotations.
And this is your home.
This is where you play
Never to reach the speed to escape.
But you devise and devise
The crystallized plans that defract every way
And you never get out what you're trying to say
Words barely slip out from between your lips
And fall in your hands
And are thrown back into orbit again.

Did I ever tell you
What you've already been told?
I think her story never gets old...
She's a recessive temptation,
Retrograde infatuation,
Set in a state of hypnotized undulation.
Your heart is her home.
This is where she preys,
Never to find the need to escape.
But she feeds lies and more lies
That spend their days in the grooves of your brain
And you never get out what you're trying to say
Words barely slip out when you're touching her hips
But then she shifts in your hands
And you're thrown back into orbit again.

Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Perspective is stepping away from your vanity.
Wake up, my child, won't you stop this calamity?
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.

To Those Who May Not Exist...

I asked the sea to sing for me,
And it did.
And how the soft keys
Went so well with the sea breeze.
How the waves stroked the sand
And each time the shoreline
Would pull back her arms,
The grain opened up in pockets of air
And whispered for more in a cloud of white foam

I asked the city to shine for me,
And it did.
And how the stream of a thousand headlights
Shone brighter in my eyes than the envy of the moon
How it brought me to heaven far too soon.
My God...
Do we rule the skies
Or do the skies rule our lives?
Gasping for air in the middle of the street,
I suddenly lose contact with the ground beneath my feet.

I didn't ask you to love me,
But you did.
And how those nameless faces
Gave me selfless graces
Plucked from the keys of most simplistic trees.
But how rich is the fruit that is the truth,
Picked, polished, and placed in my heart.
You might've stayed from the start
Or just made it to this:
Hello, nice to meet you!
My name is Chris.

Letters from the Forgotten

Knock, knock,
There's a stranger at my door.
At once my mind raced
To catch a familiar face
In the infinite database called memory
And in a moment I clicked,
Search Complete.

In front of me was a man once known
And what beastly colors he had shown...
Always a head above the rest
At the top of every physical test
Sturdy shoulders
Sturdy breast
This man was a machine,
Our very best.
We built him until he could build himself,
Ripping our supplies off of the shelves
He could not be controlled
He cried for oil
He cried for gold
He was deaf to whatever wise words he was told.
But then one fateful day,
The axles in his ankles,
The hydraulics in his hips,
And the bolts in his brain
All of a sudden stopped working the same.
And it wasn't too long
Until he was gone.

And now, here he stood:
A person renewed.
This wasn't the man
I thought I once knew.
He asked about others
He asked what they thought
He asked if they maybe forgave and forgot,
And he told me he's worried
From the systems check sounds
He told me that he really just has to slow down.

And I stood there in shock with nothing to say
And in that moment's time, he had walked away.
I expected a favor with a meaningless "please,"
But instead I was shown the heart of a beast.

One Picture

I put on my gloves
And my mouth guard in
Two thousand and twenty four
That's where I weigh in,
Nothing more...
It's all about perspective:
If you make it small enough
Life will call your bluff
And take your two thousand
And twenty four,
Nothing more.

It's all a different story
When the story's right in front of you,
Seventeen years
Of love, lust, and fears,
From dizzy sips
To counting ships,
From soggy sand
To alt rock bands,
From trips in the car
To shots in the dark,
From dancing all night
To first morning light
From scarves and gloves
To long lost loves
From finish to start
It's all there to score,
My sole two thousand
And twenty four.

You want to see who I am?
Just look up above.
I don't want to talk about love,
Or my lack thereof.
My head hits the ceiling
With my feet on the floor,
Clearance: Two thousand and twenty four,
...Nothing more.

Trudy Merryweather

As long as you're there to take me away
I will never hide you from the light of day
You are my shining cinnabar
So cinnamon sweet, and setting me free
And in an airy display
You show the sunlight on my face
And this is beautiful.
And this is memorable.

We sing our songs
I, tenor
You, bass
...You always new my favorites
And you could always name it

Wear your scars
Let the world know who you are
And I'll paint them to let you know
I'll never let go of you
I'll never let go of this
Pristine and pure
Oh yes, I'm sure
This is something I'll never regret

When I stayed out, you did the same
And you kept quiet when you strained
And I loved you for it.
You were my Mercury
And you were there for me,
The whole two hundred thousand miles.

Small Steady Doses of Lead

It is getting sick of your own songs
It is persistent and seven years long
It is the face, the hands, the hips
It is nature's taste on your lips
It is a soft touch sustained
It is acoustic runs in the rain
It is the silence at 3 .a.m.
It is sleeping in the B.M.
It is the stare shot across the room
It is the melting smile that ensues
It is forgetting all that was said
It is letting it happen again
It is reading in wishful ways
It is a dull aching that stays
It is staring at a blank screen
It is saying meaningless things
It is me digging my own grave
It is telling myself I've been brave
It is the ultimate slowing down
It is something that needs help now.

Wide Turns

I pulled out of the alley
In the seventh year
And at that moment I faced
A parent's greatest fear
When it comes to close calls
There were none alike
As when the grill of his car
Met the frame of my bike.

And then he stopped, open jawed
As the neighbors walked out
Not a scream,
Not a shout,
Just silence,
No sound.

And as I picked myself up
From the hot summer ground,
He asked me if I was okay.
With only scratches and scrapes,
All I managed to say was
"I guess I'm not dying today."

Another One for the Recycle Bin

I don't like the girl,
But she makes a good point
So I salute her with all my creaky joints...
I've done this much too often,
My nine to five heartbeat
Taking the same congested routes
On the same congested streets

We wear our pulses on our wrists
And each time the hand reaches twelve once more
We feel the same way we did one year before

So we find out we're predictable
And sometimes a bit hypocritical,
But we know how it ends
At least on our part
So there's no use to pretend
And go back to the start
Each time,
Each rhyme
The same as before
So wake yourself up
And get off of the floor!

A Feeling Intact vs. Reasoning

The slightest hint of how I live
Is felt from the words that fall
From Johnny Hartman's lips
Carried across on the melodic Trane
That catches in the rain to make
Tearful bliss.
It lets off steam in shades of blue
And leaves you with nothing else to do
But look back on a life
Of memories
Contrived.

You wish you made them
And believe you delayed them
So you neuter and spay them
But still can't help obey them

As low as courting a barren wench
And living with the perpetual stench
Of your self-inflicted trickery
Dressed with your bickering

You're a courageous fighter
But could your flag get any whiter?

As effective as a follower of the dead
Trusting yourself with the thoughts in their heads
You sit on their plots and whisper to the soil,
So softly...
"It's your move."

All blank stares look into the soul
And whether it is your goal or not
When you've thought about it a thousand times
You cry and think of it a thousand more
And that worm keeps eating at the core.
It's the pits, my friend, that filter the blood
And they spread their seeds in a melancholic flood

No matter how many evenings you spend
Writing the words that the intended won't hear
Or blurring your eyes with incessant tears,
And no matter how many lines end up filling the page
Thoughts through the night that are continually strung
Until every note on every scale is eventually sung,
And no matter how long you stare at the stars on the ceiling
You will never get this feeling
Erased.
It will keep its pace until you find true face.
And no decision will be an easy decision
Until there is no decision left to make.

Communicating At Angles

Today marked the start
Of a future not so far
When we'll all leave
By plane,
By car,
And only share the moon, our stories, and stars

But you have the most peculiar case
You take a new path at a different pace
So that the SoCal sun will miss your face
A face that we can never replace

And if I could
You know I would
Row, row, row my boat
Back a couple years,
Everything
Everywhere
Everyone too,
I'd hold a little more near.

And first goes you,
Then goes knowledge,
Then I'm the baby
In a brand new college

So let's pretend each day's our last
Life sentence,
No parole,
And now let's blow this popsicle stand
And let the good times roll!

An Obituary for the Newsfeed

Today the sun sets in an unpleasant hue
The blades of the turbine cut right on through
They leave puffy scars in your winter sky
And a gnat finds its death in your watery eye
Some couple makes out under your favorite pine
And an ugly bird shits on your favorite sign:
"Welcome to Maine, the Vacation State,
Where the landscapes are good,
And the lobster is great!"

So you purse your lips for the frozen kiss
And form a fist as the pain persists.

Then a bit of cold air seeps in through your hem
And that couples wants you to take a picture of them.
And you pray those rustic colors will soon fade away
With all the bad memories you'll leave there in Maine...

My Favourite Colour of Flavoured Armour

Now I know I'm not the one
To normally jump the gun, but:

One day I'll meet a British girl
While living on the east coast
And of course I'll love the way she talks
And of course we'll get real close

We'll take our transatlantic flights
And buy a flat in the heart of town
I'll be her boy from back in The States
Loyal to the Capitol and loyal to the Crown

But for now I'll take my burger
With a soda and some fries
And this kind of life will always be
The sparkle in my eyes

Gravity and Your Dress

So I begin the night

Slamming my head against a couch

Tuned too tight.

In this contortion show,

I play my part and you play yours.

And as the fumes from your projects

Come in through the door,

I close my eyes,

A sad excuse for what I've realized:

I'm back at square one,

Still dizzy from the hit 

Of the butt of your gun

Because you knew that pulling the trigger

Would make me see things 

A little 

Clearer.

...But instead I retreat,

Typing notes on my phone

So get out the tiller

Because I'm coming home.

An Inconspicuous Word for Embarrassment

It started with the color
It started with the curl
...And you told your boss that it was the girl.

Your man on the inside had gave him a hear
And from there, this ordeal was shaping to be
One for the books, for all history:
This had become his greatest fear.
And it came from the whisper that tickled his ear
Nuzzling her head between his neck and his shoulder
Movements more frequent as the air got colder

But never as cold as the interrogation room
A box of omniscient and rhetorical doom

He knew and you knew,
That he knew that you knew,
When your man didn't know
But instead just assumed
That after all of these years
He was finally immune.

But no, he's not.
And now he's sick.
Just from the thought.
That this won't be it.

And you'll keep him paranoid,
Until the guillotine's at his neck
Tied with a bow of your very best,
And until the point that he's having sex
Wearing plastic gloves and cheap hairnets...

And now you've got him sweating in his bed
With your voice in his head,
Dictating without end,
"Just before you give it everything you've got,
Remember that you'll never run away from your thoughts."

Come In: A Pacifist's and A Warlord's Post-War Economic Rebuilding

I'll be your Gandhi
You'll be my soldier
And together
We'll make each other
That much bolder
And act that much older...
So if secrets make us weaker,
We'll talk and we'll talk
Until truth's bread tastes sweeter.

Because you, my dear, don't carry guns
My youthful, smiling, and radiant one.
You draw rainbows on the clip
You tie the barrel in a knot
And put flowers in the nozzle
That were placed on your plot.
Because they thought you'd die!
With domestic dreams gunned down
And you'd slit your own throat
With the sharpest of frowns.

But you carry masks
And you carry smarts,
You carry strength
And you carry heart

And as long as you make me feel like
I'm doing this job right,
I'll keep the doors unlocked
And together we'll run this shop,
Because we've both got our tongues
But we've both got our ears
And we've both got our hopes and
Right now we're open.

Hey, Tell Me If You Get This One

The scariest thing that has happened to me
Was with someone standing next to me
Towards the mirror we faced
And there I saw a face I didn't recognize.
I don't know these eyes
I don't know these lips
Fuck, who the hell is this?

He had dropped those two words,
Like how stars drop from the sky
And fall into the eerily calm sea,
So they fell from his lips so casually
And my back doors were replaced with black holes
And there was no running now.
As if I even knew how.
So I withdrew from The Bank of What's and How So's
And he stepped on the gas knowing how it would go
And I was the deer in the headlights who knew
But still played it off like I didn't have a clue.

If I had the chance,
I'd tell her I really wish she wouldn't
But what can I expect from an actress with respect?
I'm the hit.
You're the mob.
But it's okay, it's only your job.
Just unscrew your halo burnt out in its socket
And recite those Hail Mary's on the script in your pocket
Tearing at the creases from habitual use
Guilty of murder and substance abuse
The substance is guile and it's been a while
Since you've showed me through touch,
through words, or through looks,
Something that could pass as a glimmer of truth

But now the dogs are barking with their noses erect
So I throw my pennies in the hole to make my wish direct
Enough with the twirls and hypnotic swirls,
I'm calling you out.

This soundtrack won't work
If the crowd goes berserk
When my lullabies bring out their painful cries.
Only werewolves sing to the moon.
Tell that to Claude and Clair de Lune.
So keep the master copy in the basement
This was a result of poor product placement

But I can look in the mirror,
See myself and get pissed,
And say:
The world is too beautiful to look like this.

F&M Radio

You,
Giving the oceans and skies their blue,
My bones are growing old
And the angels tell me, "No!"
But I've gone deaf
And I've gone blind
As a product of malnutrition
And the corrosive properties of time...

All I've got left is static and ghosts
So tell me something you know I need to know.

The Altitude of Influence

I remembered a little too late
And now I've got my date
With some chemistry
I shouldn't really know about.
If you could, tell me how
I got to where I am right now.

I wish I could say more
But fate never walked through the door
She took me out to a beautiful view
Where we did some things
I wouldn't normally do.
If only you knew.
If only I knew!
Just tell me
And I'll forget those things you said
That I wish to forget.
Just let me know
And I'll take you
Where I've always wanted to go

But for now I'm grounded.
The sky's too gray
And I've lost my way.
So just radio in when you've got something to say,
Please.

Repetition (Repetition)

Play it once: dissatisfied.
Play it again until it feels right.
Play it again until it feels right.
Play it again until it feels right.

Build the calluses on your skin
And play the second verse again.
And play the second verse again.
And play the second verse again.

Keep it clean, don't fall behind
Can't hurt to do it one more time.
Can't hurt to do it one more time.
Can't hurt to do it one more time.

Work up a sweat, but keep the beat
Another set, then rest your feet.
Another set, then rest your feet.
Another set, then rest your feet.

Get in the zone and close your eyes
Then kill 'em at the curtain's rise.
Then kill 'em at the curtain's rise.
Then kill 'em at the curtain's rise.

...May I have a drum roll, please?
It's time to bring the crowd to its knees.

...And The Rise

It was a curtsy to the king
It was a duck to dodge the bullet
And no matter how you put it,
This is now.
That was then.
And now I've gotten up again.

I took a few steps back
To patch up any holes and cracks,
Cramming them with numbers and facts
And now as sandy sleep draws near
I pray this knowledge won't leak out my ears.

You had enough
And you made it known
By the bags your eyes reluctantly owned
So I took your things
And you dropped the rest
And wouldn't let it get the best
Of you...
How I love the things you do!
We love the same people,
We love the same songs,
And I still get your smile with my ugly face on...

The Fall

It was only so long
Before I'd have to sing my farewell song
This faulty truce has left me bruised
In body, in soul, in mind.
The wolf now resides in my backyard
Two-faced, too late, I tried.
I look back to the ruin
Now turned into dust...

So this is the descent.
This is the burning up.

I've been screaming into deaf ears
Dying to know what fate brings near
But you're incapable of love
And you're only moved when shoved
So just rip off the bandage
And let it all seep through
Let it gush out your skin,
Let it drip down your shin,
Unless you've planned something better to do.

Because as I walk out of this garden
Undoing God's great work,
I cling to the thought like the lint on your shirt.

Run

As I rose and rose on my straight line
My deoxygenated thoughts drifted left and right
Trying to justify my self-inflicted sentence,
Punishment before the pleasurable crime:

"Mr. J. J. Executioner,
Look into my eyes
Wire me up and see if I lie.
I did it for the looks
I did it for the fame
I did it for the girls
I did it for the pain
I did it for me.
So bind me down
And sponge my head,
Pull the lever
And fry me dead."

But then there I was
On the forbidden hill
Walled from the innocence
That I had left long ago...

I held my hands up to the sky
To drink in all the city lights
The cataracts of jealousy
In god's own eyes.
And there I stood out of breath
My cold shirt stuck to my chest,
When I began my descent
Into my idol's arms,

A drunkard on a tightrope.

This One Is for You (Yeah, You!)

It is the balance of certainty and hope:

If you have too much certainty,
Then life is boring and just unenjoyable.
If you have too much hope,
Then life is risky and just dangerous.

But it is when you've found enough certainty
To catch you if you fall from hope
When life is truly good.

Rush/No Rush

Go, go, go, go pedal to the floor!
We could've robbed the place
The way we ran out that door
Pressed for time,
Holding the second hands back
You start up the car...
Do they know who we are?
So we get done and get out
With the east in our eyes
And I stopped by the house
To say my goodbyes...

But then came the tipping
The great slowing down
God brought out his scales
Omnipotence renowned

And then it was found
Retracing our tracks...
I was making good friends
With all the red lights
Easy on the breaks
While you rested your eyes
We kept it silent
We kept it pure
Because every moment after this
Would be another spent in reminisce
And when I get old, if fate lets it be
All I'll have left will be stubs and receipts

So I hope that you know
We both breathe the same air
Even if it's not seen,
Just know that it's there.

Tales of an Inexperienced Craftsman

At perpetual high noon,
The shadows hide under the soles of our shoes
And the bed sheets of the lucky sing rhythm and blues
Rhythm and clues to the secret of life:

Go to college
Get a job
Get a house
Get a wife
Get some friends
Get in shape
Get some rest
Get a life

Rinse and repeat once you've planted your seed
Tuck yourself in the soil and provide a good feed
Because the roses remain hungry
With eternal sun and sky blue
But the civil disputes have hushed
And gone pleasantly mute

They call me a craftsman of ladders unique
But the ad is my bluff and my selection is bleak
I've built just one ladder and on it I stoop
It is a glorious one, but I need something new
And there in my mind it stands shy and sublime
My thought: Out of my reach, But I'll give it a try.
And on the highest rung I stand on my seat,
Count to five, close my eyes, hold my breath,
And leap.

Off of the Ten

There is a place
Where space and time tango once more
And as he dips for the kiss with his hands on her hips
They lock their lips, but open future's door
And the result is the birth of new sort of world
Where your face is known by all the boys and girls
And not by self-portrait, but illustration through words

There is a place
That puts you to sleep
By soft lullabies, angelic and sweet
It tucks you into the car
Puts your seatbelt on tight
And sends yourself driving into the dead of night
And with your sufficed hunger pains
You swagger between lanes
And pray to the god that you curse in vain.

There was a place
Where I was no longer alone, but already known
Where I felt more alive and the good light had shone

High 5.0, Mother Nature!

What a pleasant surprise!
Nature stands by my side
With my creativity low
She shook the ground below
And now I've got something to write!

With my one-liner friends
The talk never ends
Of the magnitude recorded today
This fresh 5.0
Has put on a show
But the main event's coming our way.

But dear Mr. Richter,
Your scale must be broken!
Or seismologists just treat them like toys,
Because the vibrations felt
From what I could tell
Were only good ones sung by The Boys.

Silly old Rick,
Your clock still ticks
And San Gabriel Valley watches and waits...
We build sturdy foundations,
And make rough estimations,
Of when you'll finally open Hell's gates.

Tugboats

A salty morning meets my eyes
And laps up water by my sides
Starboard, port, bow, and stern
The ocean waves and the sun burns

The seaweed's fingers stretch to dawn
And the seagulls sing their feeding song
With their feather fits and pesky shits
A good morning meal of brine and grits

But do you ever wonder what truly calls
Beyond the man-made jagged rock walls?
The omniscient breakers have kept us in
And I'm jumping out of my rusted skin

Just untie the ropes from this adamant dock
And tug me along with our fingers locked
Pull me past the lighthouse, our forbidden tree
Then we'll sink our teeth in and drift out to sea...

Fitting Into Outgrown Shoes

I told you today,
I told you two months ago...
Don't flatter yourself
But now you know.

"Silence isn't hatred."
That's a lesson you must learn
Or else you'll singe your skin
Against matches unburned.

Have you ever heard of continental drift?
It's the sad gift of solitude in marginal shifts,
But it does prevail...
And I know that I'm dropping this on you like hail
But keep your limbs in the car and hold onto the rail.

This is a natural occurrence
And you have to have the endurance
To stay strong and... endure!
And I'll stick with you until I can finally make sure
That you've really grown out of those childish shoes
Because they're useless and foolish and leaving a bruise.

Vehemence of Love

If I had a jazz band,
That'd be our best song
Smooth keys and fresh beats
With a brass part so strong.
We'd sit in the bars and smoke our cigars,
Then practice again and sleep in our cars.

And if that didn't work I'd go into fights
Not the back alley brawls,
But the ones with the lights...
Thousands of them!
With cameras galore,
I'd throw a hard punch
And make them scream,
"More!"

But I must be fair
Back on my first day
And you've gotten some blows on me anyways...
But this is my ring
And my lion's den
So if you give me one second, I'll give your career ten!

The bob and the weave
And all that you've got,
You practice your moves
To give me your best shot,

So hit me.

Knowing My Limits

I test her wind and I test her waters
And as the engine room gets a bit hotter,
I release.
I only travel as far as we please
And let the grinding gears come to ease
Only after burning to the third degree...

But as things cool and simmer down
The damage has already been done:
The water has been tread and its waves overrun,
The anchors have left scars in your skin
That catch a little sand every now and then.
It irritates the wound and reminds you of me,
Already moved on to another virgin sea.

I was once homeward bound and still maintain my quest
But I'll abandon the stars at my heart's request
And I've drifted so far from that "x" on my map
And now I'm trapped in my fresh-resin vessel,
Dancing with icebergs and swinging on the poles
And the stars turn their backs to reveal black holes.

So I hold out my bait in front of the radio transmitter
To maybe catch static hope in the dead of winter
And if I radioed you, would your love guide me home?
Because this is my S.O.S.
And I think I've finally grown.

Epiphany

My hands are soaked with sweat
My forehead becomes a little wet
All in the embarrassment to say
That I've been loved every single day

I've spent many days in self-obsession
From confusing boredom with depression
Because I wasn't used to the noise
Of nothing but only my voice

I am spoiled
I am rotten
My good fortune I've forgotten
But now I've remembered again
Every time you hold my hand
I'm not alone
I'm in love with you all
You've carried my heart
Through the rise and the fall

So now I ask for forgiveness
I've got hope at a high
And I've got my love and my time
To help me surely get by...

Undocumented Progress

In a fraction of a second a star is born
And in the same amount of time it dies
So I test your nerve endings to find what you hide:
A charge, a spark, and you jump start my heart
And the levees break for anticipation's sake
But then the alarm goes off and I open my eyes,
And the conscious mind watches
While the unconscious dies...
Damn it!

Firsts

Dear mama,
I'm back and I've seen it all!
And now I'm grown, standing ten feet tall...
I've seen the sea and the ships that it holds
I've played all their games and won all their gold
But what I've kept you won't find in the pocket by my hip,
It lies hidden in my thoughts behind my love locked lips.

Dear mama,
I'm back after being apart
But now I've lost all control of my heart.
It tosses and turns in undecided hands
While I watch in terror to see where it lands.
If you see her please tell her I'll leave her to sit!
...As long as she lets me know what she finds fit.

Dear mama,
I'm back with a new pair of wings
And I've found the trust and love that it brings.
They've protected my people from liquid potentates strong
They've brought me to places I've wished to belong
They've helped me reach the knobs of heaven's doors,
But most importantly helped me pick myself off the floor.

Dear mama,
I'm back and now I know you were right,
And it will be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight.

At Your Service

Throw your shrapnel into the offering
And pray to god that you'll make
Something out of the last few moments
Of your guarder railed life.

Make the final marks on your test
And cross your fingers for the rest
Because it's all a gamble...
So roll the dice and close your eyes
Put your blind trust on the table
And keep your mind on the prize.

This is the new year,
This is your new cheer.