the stars, the sea, and sleep.

Monday, January 26, 2009

A Feeling Intact vs. Reasoning

The slightest hint of how I live
Is felt from the words that fall
From Johnny Hartman's lips
Carried across on the melodic Trane
That catches in the rain to make
Tearful bliss.
It lets off steam in shades of blue
And leaves you with nothing else to do
But look back on a life
Of memories
Contrived.

You wish you made them
And believe you delayed them
So you neuter and spay them
But still can't help obey them

As low as courting a barren wench
And living with the perpetual stench
Of your self-inflicted trickery
Dressed with your bickering

You're a courageous fighter
But could your flag get any whiter?

As effective as a follower of the dead
Trusting yourself with the thoughts in their heads
You sit on their plots and whisper to the soil,
So softly...
"It's your move."

All blank stares look into the soul
And whether it is your goal or not
When you've thought about it a thousand times
You cry and think of it a thousand more
And that worm keeps eating at the core.
It's the pits, my friend, that filter the blood
And they spread their seeds in a melancholic flood

No matter how many evenings you spend
Writing the words that the intended won't hear
Or blurring your eyes with incessant tears,
And no matter how many lines end up filling the page
Thoughts through the night that are continually strung
Until every note on every scale is eventually sung,
And no matter how long you stare at the stars on the ceiling
You will never get this feeling
Erased.
It will keep its pace until you find true face.
And no decision will be an easy decision
Until there is no decision left to make.

2 comments:

benafito said...

So, I was looking at your blog and I left my computer for a while...then when I returned I looked at the computer screen and I thought it was my blog for a second. I was like "damn...this is pretty damn good, ben....I don't remember writing this!"....And then I realized it was your blog, and my confusion was solved.

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot said...

hahaha sorry for the confusion... but thanks for the kind words!