Trudy Merryweather

As long as you're there to take me away
I will never hide you from the light of day
You are my shining cinnabar
So cinnamon sweet, and setting me free
And in an airy display
You show the sunlight on my face
And this is beautiful.
And this is memorable.

We sing our songs
I, tenor
You, bass
...You always new my favorites
And you could always name it

Wear your scars
Let the world know who you are
And I'll paint them to let you know
I'll never let go of you
I'll never let go of this
Pristine and pure
Oh yes, I'm sure
This is something I'll never regret

When I stayed out, you did the same
And you kept quiet when you strained
And I loved you for it.
You were my Mercury
And you were there for me,
The whole two hundred thousand miles.

Small Steady Doses of Lead

It is getting sick of your own songs
It is persistent and seven years long
It is the face, the hands, the hips
It is nature's taste on your lips
It is a soft touch sustained
It is acoustic runs in the rain
It is the silence at 3 .a.m.
It is sleeping in the B.M.
It is the stare shot across the room
It is the melting smile that ensues
It is forgetting all that was said
It is letting it happen again
It is reading in wishful ways
It is a dull aching that stays
It is staring at a blank screen
It is saying meaningless things
It is me digging my own grave
It is telling myself I've been brave
It is the ultimate slowing down
It is something that needs help now.

Wide Turns

I pulled out of the alley
In the seventh year
And at that moment I faced
A parent's greatest fear
When it comes to close calls
There were none alike
As when the grill of his car
Met the frame of my bike.

And then he stopped, open jawed
As the neighbors walked out
Not a scream,
Not a shout,
Just silence,
No sound.

And as I picked myself up
From the hot summer ground,
He asked me if I was okay.
With only scratches and scrapes,
All I managed to say was
"I guess I'm not dying today."

Another One for the Recycle Bin

I don't like the girl,
But she makes a good point
So I salute her with all my creaky joints...
I've done this much too often,
My nine to five heartbeat
Taking the same congested routes
On the same congested streets

We wear our pulses on our wrists
And each time the hand reaches twelve once more
We feel the same way we did one year before

So we find out we're predictable
And sometimes a bit hypocritical,
But we know how it ends
At least on our part
So there's no use to pretend
And go back to the start
Each time,
Each rhyme
The same as before
So wake yourself up
And get off of the floor!

A Feeling Intact vs. Reasoning

The slightest hint of how I live
Is felt from the words that fall
From Johnny Hartman's lips
Carried across on the melodic Trane
That catches in the rain to make
Tearful bliss.
It lets off steam in shades of blue
And leaves you with nothing else to do
But look back on a life
Of memories
Contrived.

You wish you made them
And believe you delayed them
So you neuter and spay them
But still can't help obey them

As low as courting a barren wench
And living with the perpetual stench
Of your self-inflicted trickery
Dressed with your bickering

You're a courageous fighter
But could your flag get any whiter?

As effective as a follower of the dead
Trusting yourself with the thoughts in their heads
You sit on their plots and whisper to the soil,
So softly...
"It's your move."

All blank stares look into the soul
And whether it is your goal or not
When you've thought about it a thousand times
You cry and think of it a thousand more
And that worm keeps eating at the core.
It's the pits, my friend, that filter the blood
And they spread their seeds in a melancholic flood

No matter how many evenings you spend
Writing the words that the intended won't hear
Or blurring your eyes with incessant tears,
And no matter how many lines end up filling the page
Thoughts through the night that are continually strung
Until every note on every scale is eventually sung,
And no matter how long you stare at the stars on the ceiling
You will never get this feeling
Erased.
It will keep its pace until you find true face.
And no decision will be an easy decision
Until there is no decision left to make.

Communicating At Angles

Today marked the start
Of a future not so far
When we'll all leave
By plane,
By car,
And only share the moon, our stories, and stars

But you have the most peculiar case
You take a new path at a different pace
So that the SoCal sun will miss your face
A face that we can never replace

And if I could
You know I would
Row, row, row my boat
Back a couple years,
Everything
Everywhere
Everyone too,
I'd hold a little more near.

And first goes you,
Then goes knowledge,
Then I'm the baby
In a brand new college

So let's pretend each day's our last
Life sentence,
No parole,
And now let's blow this popsicle stand
And let the good times roll!

An Obituary for the Newsfeed

Today the sun sets in an unpleasant hue
The blades of the turbine cut right on through
They leave puffy scars in your winter sky
And a gnat finds its death in your watery eye
Some couple makes out under your favorite pine
And an ugly bird shits on your favorite sign:
"Welcome to Maine, the Vacation State,
Where the landscapes are good,
And the lobster is great!"

So you purse your lips for the frozen kiss
And form a fist as the pain persists.

Then a bit of cold air seeps in through your hem
And that couples wants you to take a picture of them.
And you pray those rustic colors will soon fade away
With all the bad memories you'll leave there in Maine...

My Favourite Colour of Flavoured Armour

Now I know I'm not the one
To normally jump the gun, but:

One day I'll meet a British girl
While living on the east coast
And of course I'll love the way she talks
And of course we'll get real close

We'll take our transatlantic flights
And buy a flat in the heart of town
I'll be her boy from back in The States
Loyal to the Capitol and loyal to the Crown

But for now I'll take my burger
With a soda and some fries
And this kind of life will always be
The sparkle in my eyes

Gravity and Your Dress

So I begin the night

Slamming my head against a couch

Tuned too tight.

In this contortion show,

I play my part and you play yours.

And as the fumes from your projects

Come in through the door,

I close my eyes,

A sad excuse for what I've realized:

I'm back at square one,

Still dizzy from the hit 

Of the butt of your gun

Because you knew that pulling the trigger

Would make me see things 

A little 

Clearer.

...But instead I retreat,

Typing notes on my phone

So get out the tiller

Because I'm coming home.

An Inconspicuous Word for Embarrassment

It started with the color
It started with the curl
...And you told your boss that it was the girl.

Your man on the inside had gave him a hear
And from there, this ordeal was shaping to be
One for the books, for all history:
This had become his greatest fear.
And it came from the whisper that tickled his ear
Nuzzling her head between his neck and his shoulder
Movements more frequent as the air got colder

But never as cold as the interrogation room
A box of omniscient and rhetorical doom

He knew and you knew,
That he knew that you knew,
When your man didn't know
But instead just assumed
That after all of these years
He was finally immune.

But no, he's not.
And now he's sick.
Just from the thought.
That this won't be it.

And you'll keep him paranoid,
Until the guillotine's at his neck
Tied with a bow of your very best,
And until the point that he's having sex
Wearing plastic gloves and cheap hairnets...

And now you've got him sweating in his bed
With your voice in his head,
Dictating without end,
"Just before you give it everything you've got,
Remember that you'll never run away from your thoughts."

Come In: A Pacifist's and A Warlord's Post-War Economic Rebuilding

I'll be your Gandhi
You'll be my soldier
And together
We'll make each other
That much bolder
And act that much older...
So if secrets make us weaker,
We'll talk and we'll talk
Until truth's bread tastes sweeter.

Because you, my dear, don't carry guns
My youthful, smiling, and radiant one.
You draw rainbows on the clip
You tie the barrel in a knot
And put flowers in the nozzle
That were placed on your plot.
Because they thought you'd die!
With domestic dreams gunned down
And you'd slit your own throat
With the sharpest of frowns.

But you carry masks
And you carry smarts,
You carry strength
And you carry heart

And as long as you make me feel like
I'm doing this job right,
I'll keep the doors unlocked
And together we'll run this shop,
Because we've both got our tongues
But we've both got our ears
And we've both got our hopes and
Right now we're open.

Hey, Tell Me If You Get This One

The scariest thing that has happened to me
Was with someone standing next to me
Towards the mirror we faced
And there I saw a face I didn't recognize.
I don't know these eyes
I don't know these lips
Fuck, who the hell is this?

He had dropped those two words,
Like how stars drop from the sky
And fall into the eerily calm sea,
So they fell from his lips so casually
And my back doors were replaced with black holes
And there was no running now.
As if I even knew how.
So I withdrew from The Bank of What's and How So's
And he stepped on the gas knowing how it would go
And I was the deer in the headlights who knew
But still played it off like I didn't have a clue.

If I had the chance,
I'd tell her I really wish she wouldn't
But what can I expect from an actress with respect?
I'm the hit.
You're the mob.
But it's okay, it's only your job.
Just unscrew your halo burnt out in its socket
And recite those Hail Mary's on the script in your pocket
Tearing at the creases from habitual use
Guilty of murder and substance abuse
The substance is guile and it's been a while
Since you've showed me through touch,
through words, or through looks,
Something that could pass as a glimmer of truth

But now the dogs are barking with their noses erect
So I throw my pennies in the hole to make my wish direct
Enough with the twirls and hypnotic swirls,
I'm calling you out.

This soundtrack won't work
If the crowd goes berserk
When my lullabies bring out their painful cries.
Only werewolves sing to the moon.
Tell that to Claude and Clair de Lune.
So keep the master copy in the basement
This was a result of poor product placement

But I can look in the mirror,
See myself and get pissed,
And say:
The world is too beautiful to look like this.

F&M Radio

You,
Giving the oceans and skies their blue,
My bones are growing old
And the angels tell me, "No!"
But I've gone deaf
And I've gone blind
As a product of malnutrition
And the corrosive properties of time...

All I've got left is static and ghosts
So tell me something you know I need to know.

The Altitude of Influence

I remembered a little too late
And now I've got my date
With some chemistry
I shouldn't really know about.
If you could, tell me how
I got to where I am right now.

I wish I could say more
But fate never walked through the door
She took me out to a beautiful view
Where we did some things
I wouldn't normally do.
If only you knew.
If only I knew!
Just tell me
And I'll forget those things you said
That I wish to forget.
Just let me know
And I'll take you
Where I've always wanted to go

But for now I'm grounded.
The sky's too gray
And I've lost my way.
So just radio in when you've got something to say,
Please.

Repetition (Repetition)

Play it once: dissatisfied.
Play it again until it feels right.
Play it again until it feels right.
Play it again until it feels right.

Build the calluses on your skin
And play the second verse again.
And play the second verse again.
And play the second verse again.

Keep it clean, don't fall behind
Can't hurt to do it one more time.
Can't hurt to do it one more time.
Can't hurt to do it one more time.

Work up a sweat, but keep the beat
Another set, then rest your feet.
Another set, then rest your feet.
Another set, then rest your feet.

Get in the zone and close your eyes
Then kill 'em at the curtain's rise.
Then kill 'em at the curtain's rise.
Then kill 'em at the curtain's rise.

...May I have a drum roll, please?
It's time to bring the crowd to its knees.

...And The Rise

It was a curtsy to the king
It was a duck to dodge the bullet
And no matter how you put it,
This is now.
That was then.
And now I've gotten up again.

I took a few steps back
To patch up any holes and cracks,
Cramming them with numbers and facts
And now as sandy sleep draws near
I pray this knowledge won't leak out my ears.

You had enough
And you made it known
By the bags your eyes reluctantly owned
So I took your things
And you dropped the rest
And wouldn't let it get the best
Of you...
How I love the things you do!
We love the same people,
We love the same songs,
And I still get your smile with my ugly face on...

The Fall

It was only so long
Before I'd have to sing my farewell song
This faulty truce has left me bruised
In body, in soul, in mind.
The wolf now resides in my backyard
Two-faced, too late, I tried.
I look back to the ruin
Now turned into dust...

So this is the descent.
This is the burning up.

I've been screaming into deaf ears
Dying to know what fate brings near
But you're incapable of love
And you're only moved when shoved
So just rip off the bandage
And let it all seep through
Let it gush out your skin,
Let it drip down your shin,
Unless you've planned something better to do.

Because as I walk out of this garden
Undoing God's great work,
I cling to the thought like the lint on your shirt.

Run

As I rose and rose on my straight line
My deoxygenated thoughts drifted left and right
Trying to justify my self-inflicted sentence,
Punishment before the pleasurable crime:

"Mr. J. J. Executioner,
Look into my eyes
Wire me up and see if I lie.
I did it for the looks
I did it for the fame
I did it for the girls
I did it for the pain
I did it for me.
So bind me down
And sponge my head,
Pull the lever
And fry me dead."

But then there I was
On the forbidden hill
Walled from the innocence
That I had left long ago...

I held my hands up to the sky
To drink in all the city lights
The cataracts of jealousy
In god's own eyes.
And there I stood out of breath
My cold shirt stuck to my chest,
When I began my descent
Into my idol's arms,

A drunkard on a tightrope.

This One Is for You (Yeah, You!)

It is the balance of certainty and hope:

If you have too much certainty,
Then life is boring and just unenjoyable.
If you have too much hope,
Then life is risky and just dangerous.

But it is when you've found enough certainty
To catch you if you fall from hope
When life is truly good.

Rush/No Rush

Go, go, go, go pedal to the floor!
We could've robbed the place
The way we ran out that door
Pressed for time,
Holding the second hands back
You start up the car...
Do they know who we are?
So we get done and get out
With the east in our eyes
And I stopped by the house
To say my goodbyes...

But then came the tipping
The great slowing down
God brought out his scales
Omnipotence renowned

And then it was found
Retracing our tracks...
I was making good friends
With all the red lights
Easy on the breaks
While you rested your eyes
We kept it silent
We kept it pure
Because every moment after this
Would be another spent in reminisce
And when I get old, if fate lets it be
All I'll have left will be stubs and receipts

So I hope that you know
We both breathe the same air
Even if it's not seen,
Just know that it's there.

Tales of an Inexperienced Craftsman

At perpetual high noon,
The shadows hide under the soles of our shoes
And the bed sheets of the lucky sing rhythm and blues
Rhythm and clues to the secret of life:

Go to college
Get a job
Get a house
Get a wife
Get some friends
Get in shape
Get some rest
Get a life

Rinse and repeat once you've planted your seed
Tuck yourself in the soil and provide a good feed
Because the roses remain hungry
With eternal sun and sky blue
But the civil disputes have hushed
And gone pleasantly mute

They call me a craftsman of ladders unique
But the ad is my bluff and my selection is bleak
I've built just one ladder and on it I stoop
It is a glorious one, but I need something new
And there in my mind it stands shy and sublime
My thought: Out of my reach, But I'll give it a try.
And on the highest rung I stand on my seat,
Count to five, close my eyes, hold my breath,
And leap.

Off of the Ten

There is a place
Where space and time tango once more
And as he dips for the kiss with his hands on her hips
They lock their lips, but open future's door
And the result is the birth of new sort of world
Where your face is known by all the boys and girls
And not by self-portrait, but illustration through words

There is a place
That puts you to sleep
By soft lullabies, angelic and sweet
It tucks you into the car
Puts your seatbelt on tight
And sends yourself driving into the dead of night
And with your sufficed hunger pains
You swagger between lanes
And pray to the god that you curse in vain.

There was a place
Where I was no longer alone, but already known
Where I felt more alive and the good light had shone

High 5.0, Mother Nature!

What a pleasant surprise!
Nature stands by my side
With my creativity low
She shook the ground below
And now I've got something to write!

With my one-liner friends
The talk never ends
Of the magnitude recorded today
This fresh 5.0
Has put on a show
But the main event's coming our way.

But dear Mr. Richter,
Your scale must be broken!
Or seismologists just treat them like toys,
Because the vibrations felt
From what I could tell
Were only good ones sung by The Boys.

Silly old Rick,
Your clock still ticks
And San Gabriel Valley watches and waits...
We build sturdy foundations,
And make rough estimations,
Of when you'll finally open Hell's gates.

Tugboats

A salty morning meets my eyes
And laps up water by my sides
Starboard, port, bow, and stern
The ocean waves and the sun burns

The seaweed's fingers stretch to dawn
And the seagulls sing their feeding song
With their feather fits and pesky shits
A good morning meal of brine and grits

But do you ever wonder what truly calls
Beyond the man-made jagged rock walls?
The omniscient breakers have kept us in
And I'm jumping out of my rusted skin

Just untie the ropes from this adamant dock
And tug me along with our fingers locked
Pull me past the lighthouse, our forbidden tree
Then we'll sink our teeth in and drift out to sea...

Fitting Into Outgrown Shoes

I told you today,
I told you two months ago...
Don't flatter yourself
But now you know.

"Silence isn't hatred."
That's a lesson you must learn
Or else you'll singe your skin
Against matches unburned.

Have you ever heard of continental drift?
It's the sad gift of solitude in marginal shifts,
But it does prevail...
And I know that I'm dropping this on you like hail
But keep your limbs in the car and hold onto the rail.

This is a natural occurrence
And you have to have the endurance
To stay strong and... endure!
And I'll stick with you until I can finally make sure
That you've really grown out of those childish shoes
Because they're useless and foolish and leaving a bruise.

Vehemence of Love

If I had a jazz band,
That'd be our best song
Smooth keys and fresh beats
With a brass part so strong.
We'd sit in the bars and smoke our cigars,
Then practice again and sleep in our cars.

And if that didn't work I'd go into fights
Not the back alley brawls,
But the ones with the lights...
Thousands of them!
With cameras galore,
I'd throw a hard punch
And make them scream,
"More!"

But I must be fair
Back on my first day
And you've gotten some blows on me anyways...
But this is my ring
And my lion's den
So if you give me one second, I'll give your career ten!

The bob and the weave
And all that you've got,
You practice your moves
To give me your best shot,

So hit me.

Knowing My Limits

I test her wind and I test her waters
And as the engine room gets a bit hotter,
I release.
I only travel as far as we please
And let the grinding gears come to ease
Only after burning to the third degree...

But as things cool and simmer down
The damage has already been done:
The water has been tread and its waves overrun,
The anchors have left scars in your skin
That catch a little sand every now and then.
It irritates the wound and reminds you of me,
Already moved on to another virgin sea.

I was once homeward bound and still maintain my quest
But I'll abandon the stars at my heart's request
And I've drifted so far from that "x" on my map
And now I'm trapped in my fresh-resin vessel,
Dancing with icebergs and swinging on the poles
And the stars turn their backs to reveal black holes.

So I hold out my bait in front of the radio transmitter
To maybe catch static hope in the dead of winter
And if I radioed you, would your love guide me home?
Because this is my S.O.S.
And I think I've finally grown.

Epiphany

My hands are soaked with sweat
My forehead becomes a little wet
All in the embarrassment to say
That I've been loved every single day

I've spent many days in self-obsession
From confusing boredom with depression
Because I wasn't used to the noise
Of nothing but only my voice

I am spoiled
I am rotten
My good fortune I've forgotten
But now I've remembered again
Every time you hold my hand
I'm not alone
I'm in love with you all
You've carried my heart
Through the rise and the fall

So now I ask for forgiveness
I've got hope at a high
And I've got my love and my time
To help me surely get by...

Undocumented Progress

In a fraction of a second a star is born
And in the same amount of time it dies
So I test your nerve endings to find what you hide:
A charge, a spark, and you jump start my heart
And the levees break for anticipation's sake
But then the alarm goes off and I open my eyes,
And the conscious mind watches
While the unconscious dies...
Damn it!

Firsts

Dear mama,
I'm back and I've seen it all!
And now I'm grown, standing ten feet tall...
I've seen the sea and the ships that it holds
I've played all their games and won all their gold
But what I've kept you won't find in the pocket by my hip,
It lies hidden in my thoughts behind my love locked lips.

Dear mama,
I'm back after being apart
But now I've lost all control of my heart.
It tosses and turns in undecided hands
While I watch in terror to see where it lands.
If you see her please tell her I'll leave her to sit!
...As long as she lets me know what she finds fit.

Dear mama,
I'm back with a new pair of wings
And I've found the trust and love that it brings.
They've protected my people from liquid potentates strong
They've brought me to places I've wished to belong
They've helped me reach the knobs of heaven's doors,
But most importantly helped me pick myself off the floor.

Dear mama,
I'm back and now I know you were right,
And it will be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight.

At Your Service

Throw your shrapnel into the offering
And pray to god that you'll make
Something out of the last few moments
Of your guarder railed life.

Make the final marks on your test
And cross your fingers for the rest
Because it's all a gamble...
So roll the dice and close your eyes
Put your blind trust on the table
And keep your mind on the prize.

This is the new year,
This is your new cheer.