the stars, the sea, and sleep.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Hush Through A Smile

Pencil in that nothing
That will turn into something
Stretching out inconspicuous seams,
Eating at your evening
Without anyone seeing.

Make a bed that was never slept in,
Clean the face that was never dirtied,
And say goodbye to the ghost
You persistently hurried all night...
This is the good fright,
Found under soft light.

Those magnetized headlights
Push my car away
And in my cunning getaway,
I pull back the moon roof
And under the veil of my engine
Roaring loud,
And I tilt back my head
To throw whispers in the clouds.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Oil Slicks On Ice

Like the gleam in your eyes
Like the very first time,
This cannot be labeled
This can't be defined.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Alignment

There was a tear
In the fabric of time
That sent my mind careening
Into an infinite wall.
But there is no use in stitching
A wound always itching...

So I cover it deep
With new memories I keep
Because the engine has stalled,
All the doors are locked,
And we're suspended in space.

Yet face-to-face,
We are here, pressure-free
Since there is freedom of intention
When playing in the darkness
Of the fourth dimension.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Engines & Locks

As I stood
A thousand feet tall,
I began to recall
The thousand times before,
Wondering what I was waiting for
When city lights stunk like onions
And brought tears to my eyes
When annual winds would sigh
At this dismal sight:
Me, wasting away my night.
A slave to my sex
And acoustic sets.

The year started
With a predicate
Without a nominative.
A run-on sentence,
Running on
Chance,
Change and
Difference.

Oh, this was brought on
By coincidental design,
A bright night pieced together
Like a dynamite Lite-Brite.

You took the fuse
And burned it,
Now I'll put in the key
And turn it.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

This Note Was Supposed To Be Burned

I was anxiously waiting
As you spelled out silent secrets
Until they decomposed
And you fell asleep.

But as soon as I forgot,
You forgot your need.
And it was then when we proceeded,
Step by step,
As slow as we needed.
A succession of breaths
From yours to mine
Varying by position
Varying in time.
But this lab needs no coats
And this reality needs no hope
Because this is all I need,
And you are all I need.

Our innocent traits
Reach through these guilty gates
With our courteous sieves
And we keep eye contact
When it tightens and gives
Tightens and gives.
Opened or closed,
Heavy or slow,
The inexplicable lives
When it tightens and gives.

Memorable,
Darkened,
Images and
Recollections
Of softest touch
Of softest voice
This is freedom of thirst
This is freedom of choice.

The Californian lifestyle
And our colorful lights I'll
Hang like streamers
On this commercial jet.
And you'll grab them tight,
And I will too,
Because of this something I've found
That I'll never forget.

And my biggest clue
Was that it was there
Before I even knew.
Before I even saw it.
Before I could draw the masks
Out of my closet.
Flimsy and elastic,
Of paper
Of plastic.
And yet,
Still you laughed and you cried...
Before the red was even drawn.

It is that yawn
When you feel that long drive coming on
It is that kiss good night
When you feel that something here is right.
It was when,
I knew you then.
This is how,
I feel you now.

I do not know what love will be,
But it seems that I've lost the necessity to dream...

Lust Songs

So now I find myself
Pushing the sun against
This beautifully pale vista,
Because I've discovered
Another source of energy
Satisfying,
Electrifying,
A pleasant mix with
Fire, wine, and jazz.
And in that fulfillment
Physical,
Verbal,
I meant it.
And I think I'm uncovering
Something authentic.

O, how you're only assertive
When the lights are off
And the game has already started...

These Moments Shared

I step out into the cold
The arms of the bear,
Breathing
In the cold air
Thinking
Of your scented hair.
So here we are,
Sweet isolation
A starlit sensation.

And when I forgot to breathe,
Everything was still
And everything was seen.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Come For The Bull

I've found comfort in understanding
This outstanding situation,
Free of manipulation,
Simple and pure,
As sure as this sacred air that we breathe
Blessed with the truths
That come out when we speak.

This oddity is a normalcy within itself
And so we fit better in the mold that they made.
We teased at the thought,
In the casing we played.

So it will hide and it will show
In the back of our minds
With a faint subtle glow
Because some secrets are kept safe,
And they are better that way.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Snowy Plover & Least Tern

Five glasses on
Two bottles in,
These drawings don't make any sense
But we love them anyways
And yeah, it's the good pain
Pinching at our sides,
And we're laughing so hard
That we think we might die.

And later,
After basking in the glory
Of going south and north again
Reaching for the past, but then going back home
To a future unknown,
Exciting,
And surely dehydrating...
My body yearns for that water
My tongue a dried sponge
Placing cracked whispers in your ear.

Now what?
We follow,
We chase,
We vary the pace at which
We provide and circumvent.
Until beats divide my breath,
Never to rest
Until we put it to rest.
Actions speak louder than words
Until the actions provoke the words
That provoke the action...

And in that moment,
Things came to life,
With a beat of their own.

It's something no one else will ever understand.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Essence of Existence

Hyperventilation,
Demanding isolation,
The abstract structure of this universe
Has fallen apart.

I.
Can't.
See.
Beyond.
What.
Is.
Seen.

My eyes focus on nothing
Searching my brain,
Searching my surroundings,
For an answer.
There is no cure for this cancer.
There are nothing but bodies.
Interacting,
Temporarily animated,
Bodies.
Chemical.
Electrical.
Physical.

Where is God?

May future be my remedy
May I come to terms this,
This ending of life.
Because I'm not going to lie to you...
I am terrified.

Friday, March 20, 2009

This Tall Blue Bridge

It was a few years back,
Dressing nice in suit and tie
Celebrating a joyous moment
That I was never a part of,
But rather apart from.
There was moonlight in my glass
And champagne on the ice.

William told me to love,
So I closed my eyes and fired.
But the stray bullets got tired
And skidded to a halt
To sink and to sink...
Towards the deep floors
Scarred with faults,
And it calls to me.
And it falls for me.

So I sat at the stern
And I contemplated lessons learned.
All the while,
White tipped waves made V's in the night
As the skyline blurred in the absence of light

But now,
Oh now,
You startle the mind
With your arms still reaching high over the sea,
Holding heaven from this hell called the ocean's deep.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Apparently, you need a stepladder to reach for salty skies...

Crash!
Go the waves as I run into their arms
Curling me in with no sense of alarm.
Bang!
Goes the spectrum that splashes between clouds
Themselves being sponges of colors so loud.
This is the fabled springtime assault,
And I will be this season's martyr
And I will take all the fault!

Die, die, die before I am slain by the weekday!
It weakens me by the day,
Until I choke on my calender and throw up on my page.
An essay is a body that must be created
But I fear that mine may be destroyed.
This is too much work for a man of my age
Regurgitating deadlines on a neatly-boxed page.
My time is almost up, and if I make it,
I'll be gone.

We'll be driving towards the sun
As the ocean air swirls through the vibrant skies.
Our arms will be wings dangling out the windows,
Catching the wind as we begin to fly...

But these adverse currents make the work horse slow,
Still I'm measuring my freedom in hours to go!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

2-2

I stared in the mirror for far too long
And the person I once knew
Was gone.
Dear God... am I getting older?
These fault lines darken
And become so much bolder.

So I retrace the wrinkles on my face,
Created from courtesy
Created from jealousy
Created from anger
Created from grace.
It is weathered,
Worn down with a sewn-on idle frown
...But all in all, I do not mind
So I laugh at my face while I suck on these limes.

But this silence can shoot down a thousand lies
By the fear from staring in familiar eyes
And duct flowers blossom with every blink
For the stranger standing here at my bathroom sink.

The Updraft

Long ago,
I gave up searching for ways
To rationalize accelerating days
Because the only sure calculation
Was wasting them with hesitation
Talking to the doctor
And lying on the chaise
Searching for those ways,
Wasting all those days...

I let go when I had a dream to call home
A sparkler in my pocket
Writing names, dates, and places
In blank spaces in my mind.
What beautiful cursive it wrote
Crooked and continuous
Through one stream of
Soft, soothing smoke.

This is finding comfort in defining flaws
This is dressing up for your conference calls
This is swimming my waters you lovingly test
This is
What is
To say
The best
I've been.
This love is a kite, and it's caught in the wind...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Philosophy On Educational Sweets

Oh, the hype we make
And the stipends we pay,
Our hours spent meeting
Deadlines!
Deadlines!
Flat-line...
You're dead!

Aye, there's the rub
That you rub in the sides of your head.
But these blistering balloons are filled
With nothing but air!
So sit down and take the time
To get the knots out of your hair...

We win some, we lose some,
But cool kids like us
Have enough love in our lives
And enough color in our eyes
To make positives out of anything,

It just adds up.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Future Perspective from an Eastbound Window

This chaparral,
My chaparral
Is the West Coast's beauty mark
That isn't hard to mark
From a plane a couple miles in the air
When his time away ticks
On my homemade heart attack.

Yeah,
It's the waves goodbye
The bring us right back
And these mix CD's make me just want to stay more
As I look back on what used to be mine
Lost in the shimmer of the California shoreline...

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Under Review

I'll remember this day
And I'll see if I'm broken
In or apart
Through blood type and through heart,
Yes, this marks the start.
And the drafts are all but drafty,
And rather hot off the press.

You've made me reevaluate.
You've made me appreciate
The damn clever ways this world works,
Through the warmth of your words
And our reflections in our quirks

But oh, you know this feeling
And maybe,
I'm dealing with dealing with dealing with—
So I play this song one more time
Until its words come to life,
And it sounds as if we really made it...

Friday, March 13, 2009

Manquer et Aimer

Sunrays cascade on familiar grounds
And shake from the courtyards
Familiar sounds.
It is the warmth of vibartion
From the sunlight and the voices
That will forever,
Forever,
Remind me of my choices.

They're the ones that I made
And the ones that made me,
When I never thought to let go
Of that tough, bloody organ
As I clutched it by the aches
Until it was sore again.

These four colors
Are the last of their kind
That I'll ever see.
Blue,
Black,
Red,
Green.
But as I twirl with brushes
On my radial edges,
The ledge extends
And becomes so much steeper
As the mixed paints bring meaning
To a depth so much deeper.

It is the abyss of blind bliss
Found in absence of light
So it may not be found with the power of sight,
But by giving that tough, bloody organ a fight.

Et à la fin de ce bon journée,
Je n'avais pas vécu ce dont j'ai rêvé.
J'avais rêvé de quoi j'ai vécu,
Et je me lamente sur le temps j'ai perdu.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Sedimentary Elements of Elementary Sediments

The clouds in my eyes
Have reached forecasted highs
And these thunderclap fables
Are times tables well-known,
And electrical spines
Follow tracelines pre-shown,
And these storms remain as easy to spot
As predicting rain after the first dozen drops.

So I stop rewound clocks
To taste old words on my lips
From a serum of cycles
Of which I took slow sips.
And now I loosen my neural grip
On bow-set dreams on phantom ships,
Because this is far from a love story
And the wait is getting painfully boring...

Now I look up to the sky
And sigh as stars show there faces.
In their evening's good graces,
Our earth's celestial dividend,
I pull out a pen to connect dotted lights.
I restring the laces of deep outer space
Counting degrees within corners I made,
And I let out a sigh once more
As I connect one last dot on the far eastern shore.
And everything comes around
And everything comes together
When the cleared weather shows the glow of my angels
In synaptic loops at three-hundred-sixty angles.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Heisenberg, You Don't.

Give me enough time,
Or none at all,
And I'll promise you
These things will come loose.
Rocks into glitter
That add shimmer to the seas
Trees paraplegic
And then put on their knees

Kneel to the king
Kneel to the king
Bow to the power
No power can bring

I'm pleading ambivalent.
A friend's loss at the cost
Of preempting the pain,
My own from unknown paths
From which nothing gained.
I stand still
And you walk away
While I prepare speeches
On teleprompt display.

So now I stand in the shower
Washing my skin with degausser and soap.
And with swabs in my ears
For a conscience absolved,
I sit back on the glass
And watch dreams dissolve.

A Little Bit of Self-Preservation

Every morning you wake
With worry in your hair,
And concern on your chest,
And burden on your shoulders.
But it's thrown off with the covers
Of your skin getting older,
So actions come bolder
And others come dead
And you comb out the rest
With the bed in your head.

We have mirrors for mirrors
So we're never alone
And we count up the reasons
To never leave home.
And then dies suspense
When you count up your cents:
There's one for your blessings,
Two for your views,
Three for the wheel,
And four to see clues.

And every day is another chance
To ask life for just one more dance
And when she asks to what kind
You respond in combo:
A little bit of mambo,
A little bit of jive,
And a little bit of staying alive...

Monday, March 9, 2009

Slow For Crossing (You Talk Too Much)

These candles on my birthday cake
Leave burns only skin deep
And I try to keep things sane
But the task becomes more difficult
When things remain the same.

It's become comfort in habit,
A finger-wagging nun
Shunning my selfish sins
Burning the bastard bins
Because these thoughts don't deserve a breath
So I throw a curse as I breathe your breath.

In,
Out,
Spout another to be past about.
Spawned from narcissism
Spawned from sin
Spawned in the dregs of the bastard bin.

I cross your street with a shopping list,
A succession of thoughts,
A pattern never missed,
But its effectiveness is to be marked
Like shooting bullets in the air,
Like talking like there's no one there.

And it's hard to make peace and restock the shelves
When you've made their lives a living hell,
When your dreams don't live past ringing bells,
When your greatest enemy is only yourself.

An Pog

Here's the situation:
The eyes of our nation
Are on
You.
And my question is:
What do you have to prove?
You point and fire the lead,
Then put your hands
On your perspiring head,
And don't move...
Just what do you think they'll do?

You throw all your friends
In the magnetic tide
As electrical storms
Prick holes in their eyes.
Polarized,
Neutral.
Charged,
Neutral.
Neutral,
Neutral.
Polarized,
Charged.

I charge the gates
Then slowly back away.
I cry innocent are guilty
With nothing else to say.

I hope that maturity will find a way
To process my thoughts
And set things straight,
Because my only control
Is my hope in fate,
And I can't clean up
Every mess that I make.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Supplementeddy Bear

We all have our secrets and dress them with phrases,
Genius but disingenuous
All to get in your good graces.
I keep the prongs grounded
To hold back the shock,
The jaw dropping
Heart stopping
Unlocking of locks.
My talk is my silence
My blanks mostly lies,
And I can relate with all
And none of these guys.

I'm stuffed.
And if you knew what I know,
You'd also think it's enough.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
But I've hit the wall.
These clothes don't quite fit
And I can't stand your call.
These notches aren't worth it.
I'm just an aside.
But a trike needs three wheels
So I'm here for the ride...

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Subconscious Drift Into An Unknown Stage

My jealousy is overwritten easily
And forgotten all too soon
When tucked in the front seat
Staring up at the moon,
When out on the couch
Bodies warmly in tune...

This is 3am with no traffic, both ways
Where the ticks have no value
And thus, the moment stays.

This is being caught between the changing of the days.

Sweet Sing Along, Three Hours Long

You step back one
But march on two more
Slowly but steadily,
We build our levees to bear the load
Of currents heavy though separated,
Those words you said you hated:
I won't be here next year.

So I draw theoretical tears
On the blueprint map,
Preemptive of a future near
And so I say what there is to say,
The unspoken truth
The decay of youth,
Just to get it out of the way,
And let life live until death,
Until our breaths reek with rich past
Aged like wine and fermented in time,
A love supreme
For a long in between.

So when none other does pass
Than the desire for responsive glass,
Pass the word to the grade school suckers,
I wish their reputation and pockets good luck!
We don't need a DJ,
We don't need chaperones.
Because all we need, we've got:
A dance party of our own.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Spectroanalysis

If I've learned something
From counting tallies on weathered walls
And playing catch with tethered balls,
Morning does not dictate the day
And latter shades of blue will do something to you too.

From yearning in your dreams,
Odd and unheld,
To waking up to things
Unfinished.
But departure will shake your core
Until you can't take any more of the sound
And just as it gets worse,
Your feet leave the ground.
Then suddenly the air doesn't seem so dense
And the patchwork farms patch up and make sense
The clouds reveal the daybreak's suspense
While you squint to see life
In a new lens.

Everything falls into place
With a controlled steady pace:
Your heart in my hands,
Your awkward phrases I heard
Like the sound of baby's laughter
While you sing the wrong words

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Singing Sticky Love Notes

Peel off the claps that adhere on the walls
One after the other
Like Poprocks in the sky
Borderline boulder-sized

Slip off the symphony of sounds
The boys you spent your nights with
Talking with mouths zipped
And peace pistols gripped

Hold off the hungry-hearted man
Spilling into this medium
Sealing them in a melody
Coated in flavorful trills
Steaming the window sills

Then,
It is just one note.
It is steady
It is rhythmic
It is smooth
It is beautiful
It is love.

Now,
Open your eyes to the rest.
It is loud
It is mysterious
It is connecting
It is colorful
It is life.

They go hand in hand, side by side,
So take a bow and love your life.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Magnet Theory

This moment is a moment
And forever never more...
But preceding the dream
Came much closer things,
The tidal turns that context brings.
But within or without,
The riptide may not hide
What sandy assumptions buried in confidence.

In this once thought of providence,
One can get close, but can never stay,
And this asymptotic function goes both ways.
And I found the problematic solution
Indifferent in resolution
In the wine on his breath
And buzz in his eyes.

And as the old man preached
I mistakened his scent for my own
And it sent me months back
To laughing at the sun
Burning in playful embarrassment
And leaning on its shoulders,
At least ten fold in strength,
On a rooftop overlooking the Mexican border...

And so when it comes to the theory
Of relations and lies,
Things are more or less
Demagnetized.

Without Direction

This compass twirls and curtsies in ballet flats
As question marks prance on arterial maps.
I fire flares for no one there,
A shooting star with an arc of smoke
Upon which I wish,
But then I choke.

Help!
I'm lost and without direction
And there are too many paths to my pictured perfection.