Nothing is certain.

I'm beaten though I do the beating
Under street lights.
Under these lights
Flashing in and out of my life,
A love started.
Friends drop like flies,
My thoughts pop me in the nose,
It bleeds.
They leave.
I need a full body exchange.
The mind can go,
This flow is empty.
I go back to the corner to spit out teeth
Into a dirty tin bucket
Called honest relief.

She was the crystal
I was the crane
Holding the wrecking ball.
Wrecking all the power lines
Except the spine that made me
Let it all go.
Letting the sun drift away
Given no reason to start her day.
Replacing light with cast iron
To take her away.
And I wait for the back swing
For all the bad things I've done
Fighting against gravity
With a triggerless gun.
An empty threat for the inevitable
So I choke on this inedible truth
Two in the morning,
Driving away from you.

Faces are scarred
Into the darkest places of the mind,
Disconnected from a darkened heart
Out of beat in the darkest time.
Where is my guidance?
I lost my confidence
When a took a butter knife
And laid my life on the ground
Mixing with tears and the horrible sound
Of heartbreak.
It drips down our shirts
And seeps through the cracks
Never to come back.
I skinned the pride
Now bring on the pack.
I'm waiting on lions
As I lie on my back.

There is no defense,
There is only fact:
I never knew it was this dangerous,
I never knew I could hurt this much,
I wish to god I still loved her
But I suffered the duty to do this,
And I'll haunt this world
Until I find forgiveness,
Undeserved.
Absurd.
Like every word that I spoke that night.
Like every picture painted on my eyes.
Of an immeasurable pain,
The worst of its breed.
And of sadness that sucks out
The essence of being.
I am alone now.
This is what I've become.
This is growing up and falling out of love.