the stars, the sea, and sleep.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

When Mama Thinks You're A Murderer

On atlases, there are lines
On maps, there are crosses
But heading south towards the mouth of the gulf,
The border gets fuzzy
And blends into the horizon,
So I open the glove compartment to put all my lies in.

Indifference is a silent coward
And it devours the soul
Until the point where you don't know what's thinking
And you're blinking your yes's and no's
Just to make this go a bit slower.
But that road is too far and out of sight
And looking back on the unfolding of the night,
There were highways in its creases that we never did know.

I am a parasite,
Sucking the light from your sweet summer glow
From the veins in your body that provide luscious flow.
I clear the shelves with my words
And sprawl it out across the room,
I lay you out nice and neat
And all the while I still assume
There is nothing but wadding crumpled up in this shell
But this wadding may be my punched ticket to hell.

The Primary

It was our world in the purest form
Reds, blues, and yellows
From which our colors were born.
The colors torn through to make
A scar in the aura of this setting sun.
Millennia of advancements
In atmospheric make up
Have made her exit gaudy
And a bit overrated.

This is the picture perfect you paint:
The texture, the shading, the harlot, the saint.
You show me the ceiling,
You show me the man,
But all that's in focus are the artist's fine hands.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


He is the kid who wants broken toys
For what they once had been:
The glossy picture in the magazine
Swirling up dreams and fanciful things.

And there is no intimidation in a garbage bin
Because he doesn't think he'll ever understand
Until he has the pieces in his hand
Put together with his strongest glues,
The laces on his shoes,
Adorned with sad, sticky bubblegum blues.
And the result will be...
Whatever it was supposed to be.
But his hellbent knees won't take a stand
Until the final product is in his hand.

You're a moonlight surprise
With your lovely dyes
And he shields you with his eyes,
Because he can't with his arms
And he sees how those kids admire your charm...

Even this boy gets tired from staying up nights
And all the while, his growth he stints
His youthful distractions avert his sight
But he can't have this fade until next Christmas print.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

My Best Mistake

Don't think I think
That this is a game
Because I don't give a damn
How the cards are played
I don't care about technique.
I don't care about reason.
I don't care about style.
All I know
Is this is the best mistake
I've made in a while...

And these heavy eyes
Just won't hide my lies
So these lips are bent to show a smile,
And all the while my limbs do ache
From a tiring night my dreams do make
Sweat-soaked to the core,
More fatigued than the day before.

But the morning comes
And your song I hum
With a dance of glance symphonies,
Accompanied with a smile.

52 Pick-Up

This room is made of lights
That assault the eyes
That swirl into the center
In which they finally die

This room is made of sounds
That drip out of sync
That are muffled and dank
And too thick to drink

This room is made of cards
That line my four walls
That expand with a breath
But on exhale they fall

This room is made of nothing
This room is my head
This room is too tired
And going to bed.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro

It takes two clicks to go home
But four to go far away...
Starting familiar, but making your way
To whatever you want,
There's no need to speak
When phrased just right
And kept in the beat.
Fifteen songs deep
Five hours long
..and we're still going strong.
With sores on our hands
And cramps in our feet.

This is conversation without the tongue
This is the fire without the gun
This is sparking a dream without a light
This is battling life without a fight

This was the day we decided to ditch
This was the best idea we pitched
And when the chorus shook the floor,
We weren't in Kansas anymore.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

What I meant to say was...

You are a lot more
And there is an ocean beyond that shoreline.
Infinite depth...
And with an intimate breath,
You let it be known.
And how your flourishing waters have grown
Teeming with beaming rays of light
Riding the ripples from laughing at life.
Your secrets are smiles
And moonlight has shone
Your heart is the sun
Your ocean, its home.

You are all,
And all it contains:
The pretty, dirty bottles
With touching text,
But paper plain,
The shy shells that sink
But peek in the sand,
Hiding but yearning a curious hand.
Unintended perfection
Without direction
A precious phenom
A something to lean on.
You are more than the crests' reach,
More than the roar and sizzle
As they crash on the beach...
You are a lot more.
This, I am sure.

And now I try to make up
For sleepy words I made up,
So go put down your make up
Because you are beautiful the way you are.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Believe Me (Or Don't, Whichever's In My Favor)

I've taken the day off to reevaluate my life
I've taken my shoes off to step back into the night
Box by box in calendars,
My millstone is my clock.

I hum nostalgic tunes
As I rummage through the ruins.
Do you remember when?
Do you remember then?
It was all simple there
The head before the hair.
The voice before the words.
The rise before the fall.
But youth ends,
And split ends tell you
Things aren't quite the same,
Are they?

In retrospect,
I never said it right.
In retrospect,
I never saw the light.

I try to differentiate
Between mirrors and glass
The fun house of present
Blurs future and past
And we strive for conclusions
From distorted confusion

Some wish for too much and fall down the well
When everyone already has someone else.
I'll try not to make the mistake of our youth,
But people like masks more than they like the truth.


The collar is stiff and close to your skin,
Checking your pulse,
Checking your moves,
Finding the wrinkly grooves of your neck
To burrow itself like you'd never expect

It's got you, my friend,
And it softens your sense
Nerve by nerve
From the softest incisions,
Softer than hands made to emphasize visions,
Your visions so grand
Filled with splashes of light
That show in your future.
That show in your eyes.

Just for once, open up!
Unbutton down and be proud,
Because I can't wait to see
How this crease irons out.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Wires and Stilts

We put God in a rocket ship
And sent him up in the air,
Turquoise paper mache
With cotton ball lint,
To keep tabs on the asteroids' flicker and glint
To spend all his nights
Watching planets and satellites...
And anything else to help him get through the night

And so He sits there idly
While we idolize our prize:
The jealousy
The hunger
The lust in our eyes.
Because God's taken care of
And there's no need to lie.

Though my closest absolution
Was the solution to a hectic dawn.
Hours up before the alarm,
I held your limp frame in my arms.
I kept you warm in this metal cage
And cherished the innocence of youthful age

Be good.
And do everything I should've done
Because before you know it
You'll be under the gun
At the end of a path of a life overrun
With leaves
That leave
Yourself with an itch,
Insatiable burning felt under the stitch
Placed on your chest for when you forget
What you've always been wearing that hung on your neck.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Fitting Career For A Faded Star

It's time to invest in a future
That will mask all my sutures
I'm a young man without plans
Put in permanent ink.
I wrote the right
In pencil-scribed scripts
That lived in my eyes
And read from my lips
But the graphite and friction
Turned my words into fiction
And now all that I carry is gray.

Your hopes left the door open wide
So the clouds in the sky found their way inside.
So now I stare at this haze
Looking for a sentimental way
To say nothing.

And from the cycle of reason to heart,
The haze on the page
Turns to black and white bars
And the rush in my veins
To resuscitate this heart
Has made my face pale
And my sullen stare far.

I am a mime
And I freeze life in mine
To grab the eyes of unconcerned passers by
For a quarter, a nickel, a penny of time
To throw in a hat, presented with tricks
But my final act squanders each second hand quick
In situations that grow until well overripe
While I sit in my cell wearing sad silent stripes.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

When An Orphan Looks Up

You spend the new year sitting out in the snow,
Counting the seconds until fireworks blow.
You watch them erupt in colors and sparks
And smoke fills your lungs
As the lights fill your heart.
But never to last as the seconds do pass
And the dark in your heart comes flowing back fast.

You spend your birthday with your head in your knees,
Letting the cardboard box hang in the trees.
Filled with delights meant to sweeten your tongue,
Haunting your dreams in the way that it hung.
Instead you stayed in and counted your years,
Burning in wax
Burning in tears.
A smile flashes quick when their blown out at last,
But the cries in your eyes come flowing back fast.

You spend Christmas day looking back on the days,
Slowing accepting your young hope's decay.
And the nuns who know none,
But the word of their Savior,
Tell you, "Cheer up, God don't like bad behavior!"
So you thicken your skin for another year's blast
And the lies in your mind come flowing back fast.

...But this cycle's no circle
And this year you'll learn.
All the other kids left you
But now it's your turn.

You've got a couple signing papers,
You've got a yearbook in a locket,
There are marbles in your hand,
And even more in your back pocket.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Vegas Sessions

This is the dance between serpent and man,
And this is when things really get out of hand.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Noticeable Change

How unfortunate,
That our evening rains and syrup stains
Have turned into frequencies heard in our ears
Whose soft ring fades
Until we can no longer hear it
And I'm playing chicken with the quiet
And your auto-pilot mindset
Is my best bet that I bust
This time,
Though not more,
But in context,
Too much.

I respect your move
And thus I lose
The contact
The connection
The combat
The convection

My cover's blown
And my scarlet stains show
How long I have left
And how much I don't.

And as the numbers dwindle down
Your name becomes more prominent
Intimidating and dominant,
So my hesitating persists
As I resist to speak.
My blood fills my lungs
My tongue tastes of gun
My throat clogs with clots
My chest airs with shots
So my mind fills with screams
Only heard in my dreams
As I slowly lose grip
From what's real
To what seems.

Will you hold my hand?
Just give me the morphine,
I want to understand.

Like Any Other

Today was the day
That came after the last,
In nothing it lacked
In nothing surpassed.
Just the way I like it.

Reattach the cord
And take back the name
And watch it become
Like all else, the same.
Just the way I like it.

I put up my speakers
Against the calls
And paint my ignorance
Over cliched walls.
Just the way I like it.

Today was a day
Without love, without lovers
And I went through this day
Just like any other...
Just the way I like it.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Don't Mention It

And in that one sentence
It lived and it died
But went to the limbo inside my mind
I didn't bother to ask
You didn't bother to tell
And we all know well
That we don't know at all,
I don't know at all.
Or at least don't know
If it wants to be known
Or how low the bar will actually go

...But we move on,
And let it rest with the rest.

"BAM!" went the barrel
When I pulled on the trigger,
A 12-gauge page to make their eyes get bigger.
Put your concerns down in clay,
Then fire away,
This is right now, so tell chance to go figure.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Sudden Changes

I won't see it
Until you throw it at me
But once hatched and dispatched
You create something that cannot be matched.
And you'd swear it was true...
If only you knew, huh?
You thought you did too, huh?

Giggles from their eyes
Squiggles from her pen
Tell me I don't need to do it again
If I find something,
I'll tell you when
You're just getting to know
What I had known then.
It sure is something
It's pure
It's loving

But this was the grin
And here came the smile...
And as spring parted her lips
I drank her in with tiny sips
Oh, how she spoiled me
And uncoiled the tension
So it felt nice
So it felt delightful

...I'll take it!
And I'll leave it at that.
And that is the cycle of life
Seeing colors, hues, and shades light
As we paint our canvas of every day
And soak our skin in sugared rain

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Looking Back to See My Future

Right before the city sleeps
The sun peaks in under cumulus sheets
And splashes a little gold in our eyes.
She won't ever go any higher
And will gracefully fall in a fit of gray fire...

But you, my child,
I peer into your eyes
And see my own life.
Forever the same,
Though displaced by time,
Your head
Your heart
Your blood,
In mine.

So I hope you don't plan on leaving too soon,
Because I'm here to break you a deal:
I'll carry your body and hold your hands
Until you've become strong and brave,
And then in good time,
And when it is mine,
You'll tucked me down into my grave.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

False Pretenses and The Event Horizon

I winced at your proclamation:
You'll go out cold, rejecting the donors
On matters of their owners.
You are no martyr, just a starter of fires
And your vacant claims put us all on the stake.

This is a travesty of the chemicals I call love.
But the days grapple over one another
And the muscles in my face knot
So these expressions, I've forgotten.

And this deceptive film over my eyes
Has got me counting
Phantom stars in the sky
One, two, then one again
This tearjerking motion will never end.
Throw me the tissues,
We've all got our issues.
Just where are you heading
When you're bedding with sheddings?

Sleep now, or never hold your peace,
Because I'm already in pieces
And there are no sins left
To die for my Jesus.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Terribly Sweet

I go in with the rain down my back
I go out with God's covers thrown back.
He lets out a cool sigh,
Blowing the clouds right on by...
There's snow on the mountain tops, you see
And I've got this moment to spend
With only me,
But I don't mind.
This is a special, yet subtle
Lapse in time.

Even if the cold bites at my fingers
I'll do anything to make this moment linger
Its innocuous stinger has me in silenced amazement
This magnetized majesty
Is holding me back from the rest of my day
(Of no greater importance if I may say...)

Just keep the fires away
This is all I need
Letting her aura plant her seeds.
So bloom in my heart
Take me away
As we make this progression
To skylines from day

This is nature's kiss on the cheek.
This is taking my rights to speak.
This is what live for.
This is what I would die for.
This is dusk.

But now that my hands lose their touch
I fear that I have said too much.
So I'll let the glacier sky
Speak softly for me,
Things like these are terribly sweet...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Something New

The rainclouds' sweet crackle and glaze
In the sunset's soft and silver rays
Surely sets me back a few days.
It's the warmth of familiarity,
Old-time hilarity.
An assault of spastic contractions
From unrecognizable actions
Leave me on the main drag,
Post-party promenade mystery bag.

I'm your purebred airhead waiting at the door
Wide-eyed with relief because I needed
Some more,
More of this...
I needed my fix.
So fix me on your nightstand
And give me your hand
And tell me if you don't understand
That so easily,
And so clear to me,
I can picture every one of them I know
Dragging their sacks of unwonted sorrow
And all that I can say is "You're gonna carry that weight."

Music to My Ears

I wake up to the beat,
The pitter-patrer and the breeze,
Synchonized blows
On my windows,
I think I'll sleep in,
Lose myself just for a while.
I think I'll sink in,
Rediscover soul and style.
I think I'll drink in,
Feedback, overdrive, 30-day trial.

Say hey,
This here today,
Some rules were broken anyways
Self-imposed and restrictive,
Sick, mirrored, and vindictive.
And you know,
Soft skin scars easy
And I don't want to spend my days
Telling anachronistic ghost stories,
But this right here
Is music to my ears...

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Quieting the Caterwauls

Today came as fast as she left
And with a twist of her wrist
And a glimpse of her palm
She was there and gone.

We want lovers like our knowledge
The mysterious intrigue.
But I can only press the knife
So hard
Until it breaks skin,
And it's scary being friends
With a damn good liar.

It's no longer getting farther
From the beginning,
It's getting closer to the end
Where I'm simultaneously
Letting something go,
But grabbing onto something else.

And you can blame fate for a day like today
Tearing time tables to have it their way
I am guarding the sleep
I am starting the heart
And I point to the skies
To tell them how far.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Covalent Bonds

As the Vorshtein once said
From rivers to deltas to oceans of lead,
The are levees leveled
The dams are down
And I'm drowning in color
And the beautiful sound
In the fragrance that's found
In sweet fields abound.
Merrily, merrily,
Rain falls down.

And every bend in the sky
Wrings out tears to dry her eyes
It's wonderful...
Yes, yes,
It's marvelous...
Less, less,
Light in the sky
The crescent of the moon
Pulling in waters
And making more room.

This is the floor on which we dance.
Why ask for more?
This is your chance.
But hurry,
Please hurry.
My sight's getting blurry
And night's winter flurry
Will be sure to bury ourselves in the waves
And seaweed will dress our waterlogged graves.

But for now you can't tell me that this is a crime,
For all the worlds tears are now mixing with mine...
This soft ticking bomb puts a date on the line
And the lush downpour sloughs the callus of time.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


You work by the candle
You work by the night
And every so often...
Sneak glances to the right
And it's a thought of the same
Balding tires in game.
Wear them down,
Round and round,
Until you're gliding on the rims of your car
And your rear view's a show of excitement and sparks
This is assuming you can get this far...
You may lose your rights to your very own life
To the tragic concoction of asphalt and ice.

Our earthly seeds
Nurture our needs
And through autumn leaves
A pattern proceeds:
This heart works on clocks
It's supply and demand
And the bloodiest head rush
Wouldn't help you understand.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Did I ever tell you
What you've already been told?
I think the story never gets old...
You're buried in calculations
Lost in translation
Trapped in a set of infinite rotations.
And this is your home.
This is where you play
Never to reach the speed to escape.
But you devise and devise
The crystallized plans that defract every way
And you never get out what you're trying to say
Words barely slip out from between your lips
And fall in your hands
And are thrown back into orbit again.

Did I ever tell you
What you've already been told?
I think her story never gets old...
She's a recessive temptation,
Retrograde infatuation,
Set in a state of hypnotized undulation.
Your heart is her home.
This is where she preys,
Never to find the need to escape.
But she feeds lies and more lies
That spend their days in the grooves of your brain
And you never get out what you're trying to say
Words barely slip out when you're touching her hips
But then she shifts in your hands
And you're thrown back into orbit again.

Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.
Perspective is stepping away from your vanity.
Wake up, my child, won't you stop this calamity?
Repetition is a symptom of cycled insanity.

Monday, February 2, 2009

To Those Who May Not Exist...

I asked the sea to sing for me,
And it did.
And how the soft keys
Went so well with the sea breeze.
How the waves stroked the sand
And each time the shoreline
Would pull back her arms,
The grain opened up in pockets of air
And whispered for more in a cloud of white foam

I asked the city to shine for me,
And it did.
And how the stream of a thousand headlights
Shone brighter in my eyes than the envy of the moon
How it brought me to heaven far too soon.
My God...
Do we rule the skies
Or do the skies rule our lives?
Gasping for air in the middle of the street,
I suddenly lose contact with the ground beneath my feet.

I didn't ask you to love me,
But you did.
And how those nameless faces
Gave me selfless graces
Plucked from the keys of most simplistic trees.
But how rich is the fruit that is the truth,
Picked, polished, and placed in my heart.
You might've stayed from the start
Or just made it to this:
Hello, nice to meet you!
My name is Chris.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Letters from the Forgotten

Knock, knock,
There's a stranger at my door.
At once my mind raced
To catch a familiar face
In the infinite database called memory
And in a moment I clicked,
Search Complete.

In front of me was a man once known
And what beastly colors he had shown...
Always a head above the rest
At the top of every physical test
Sturdy shoulders
Sturdy breast
This man was a machine,
Our very best.
We built him until he could build himself,
Ripping our supplies off of the shelves
He could not be controlled
He cried for oil
He cried for gold
He was deaf to whatever wise words he was told.
But then one fateful day,
The axles in his ankles,
The hydraulics in his hips,
And the bolts in his brain
All of a sudden stopped working the same.
And it wasn't too long
Until he was gone.

And now, here he stood:
A person renewed.
This wasn't the man
I thought I once knew.
He asked about others
He asked what they thought
He asked if they maybe forgave and forgot,
And he told me he's worried
From the systems check sounds
He told me that he really just has to slow down.

And I stood there in shock with nothing to say
And in that moment's time, he had walked away.
I expected a favor with a meaningless "please,"
But instead I was shown the heart of a beast.

One Picture

I put on my gloves
And my mouth guard in
Two thousand and twenty four
That's where I weigh in,
Nothing more...
It's all about perspective:
If you make it small enough
Life will call your bluff
And take your two thousand
And twenty four,
Nothing more.

It's all a different story
When the story's right in front of you,
Seventeen years
Of love, lust, and fears,
From dizzy sips
To counting ships,
From soggy sand
To alt rock bands,
From trips in the car
To shots in the dark,
From dancing all night
To first morning light
From scarves and gloves
To long lost loves
From finish to start
It's all there to score,
My sole two thousand
And twenty four.

You want to see who I am?
Just look up above.
I don't want to talk about love,
Or my lack thereof.
My head hits the ceiling
With my feet on the floor,
Clearance: Two thousand and twenty four,
...Nothing more.