the stars, the sea, and sleep.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Day Six: Banks and Bets

Appointments with needles and staying still
I prepare my life to change
Putting the children to bed
In a luxurious bathtub of ice
In a room as dark as night.
I can feel my cancer growing,
I just need more than knowing that I'll be alright.
A mother cries and a daughter follows suit.
I cannot be robbed of my youth.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Day Four: Places On Earth

Kelly and Cola.
Hanging out by the fire
Freezing in the cold,
Drinking cream soda to save my blood.
Designated driver for a loved friend
Designated crier in the passenger seat
Who couldn't believe this could happen to me.
Walked you to sleep as the black sky turned deep
Lackluster moments that I still wanted to keep.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Day Two: Breaking In

Before the morning sun could find my half-shut eyes,
Skin stained sheets from the purpose of existence
That stuck with me like viruses.
For meaning you must dig deeper:
This is your significance,
This is your future,
The needle pushing forward
For something more than just skin deep.
What shakes my bones and finds what's in the core,
If it's the second stage, no repeat and nothing more.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Day One: The Unknown Becomes Known

And even a city of angels couldn't protect me
As I sat on a denim-stained pleather couch
In a third floor apartment I called high water.
A smart phone caller ID played dumb
While a shaky thumb cut the noose around my neck
And dropped me into that icy water that felt so real.
I have never felt so alive, but there I was being reminded
That by 11:50am, I was dying.
So these hopes better keep me lifted while I am trying
Not to drown in all these cells that surely keep dividing.