the stars, the sea, and sleep.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Latin Numeric

The screen was left unattended,
The night was met unintended,
But the sleeper was shaken
And taken by something strong.
As months fell short...
It felt sin coming on.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Best Death Ever

This is my funeral.
Arnold in his Sunday's Best,
Collared shirt and sweater vest.
He says,
"He was a good kid
And was loved by his mother and father,
But he didn't have enough time
Clothes rip as he poses for them all,
As poles flanking my coffin
Stretch to the height of the wall.
And the ladies begin to dance
As eyes advance to a revealed IMAX screen
A fighter jet with machine guns,
And me.
I jerk with the impact of each bullet
As would marionettes dance and dangle,
Repeated slow motion,
And shot seven angles.
My dead smile would be seen
Plastered there on my face
As the place shakes with uproar
And bulls on parade.

Pushing and Pulling

One more sigh
Until we breathe in again,
One more wince
Until the pain goes away.
I've been inhaling excitement
That's kept me away,
Taking in liquid rush
That doesn't do much
To keep me alive.
To keep me afloat.
But if everything goes right
...or at lest not so wrong,
This will be the last time
I write from an absence so long.
I loved the stay, but I'm going soon
To see you again in white crescent moon.


Creaky floorboards whining to the top...
It's the only thing that stops
The greatest fear that crawls in your ear
As you crawl up these rocks.

We found their god in a lookout tower
Saving the green from the devil red fire,
The devil red heat that meets me at dusk.
Hello, savior in the skies,
Wrinkled, calm, and wise,
Save me from the fire.
Though I'm a different shade of green
I mean no harm.
Maybe these branches
Branch out too far.
I'm catching the fires,
I'm getting my scars.

I think they've gone too deep.
These leaves can no longer keep.
Goodbye to brown, goodbye to green,
Hell to gray, eternal sleep.


You walk facing dirt,
There's blood on your shirt
And you're squinting and wincing
From the sun and the hurt.

But we're high as birds
Even if our thighs burn
I can breathe once again.
These mountains never shave
Their trees give us shade
And I am grateful
Full of great,
Fighting for space
With the sickness and longing.

I'm only so strong,
My lungs need your calm.

Because I Had To...

I woke up better
Making things worse.
Baby, this means I'm leaving.
I'll see you if I'm still breathing
When I come back,
If I come back....

Here it is.
It's our first day.
Nothing's the same.
You're so far away.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Caught in the T.O.W.

Lost in the thought
Of words to make right
Of birds to take flight,
Finger on trigger...
Eyes down the sight...

Born in a cage,
Sedated from rage,
We live to die
And count our lies.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

From Jormp to Jomp

The cement is wide.
This grooves run deep.
We're trying to keep our composure
This nightmare needs some closure
In the form of termination
And we're determined to overcome
At 65,
Weekend drive,
Under hot summer sun.

Black paint gleaming,
Engine screaming,
This tigress is her own.
Her dominance shown with authority
Never to be questioned.

She carries her pride
In her soft caring bosom
Holding her heart
So they aren't torn apart.
From the changing of lanes,
The five-freeway switch...

I can say that we've tamed
This here mistress bitch.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Pleasure In Justice and Punishment

Idle in my bed
Idle in my head
Blank stare the ceiling
Eyes closed, idle feeling.

Boy, slow down
And sit yourself down.
This is a hit that you can't shake off
So you can brush off your shoulders
All you want.
It's time you spent less time on your feet
And more on your knees.
Or better, on your back.
It's time for you to get back on track.

It's time for hesitation
From getting your high
From increasing elevation.
Get your head out of the clouds.
It's time for self-constraint
Satisfied from black shoes,
Black suits, black paint.
Things don't need to get loud.

When you've cooled all your nerves
Maybe you'll just get better,
But you find so much pleasure
In what you deserve.

Return Address, No Postage Fee

There's a tickle in your throat
That's there to let you know
This isn't in your hands.
You think it's chaos
Dressed in green
Dashing your dreams
On mossy rocks
Then locking your heart
In the rustiest locks,
But mother tells you
It's for your own good.

These mirrored walls
Stand far too tall
And you lean on them
From weary legs.
They wobble as you brace
Yourself with your arms
And you're finding the devil
In a display of your charm.
Sure you mean no harm,
But the lights are flashing
From the sounded alarm.

Sometimes the taste will take you away
Sometimes the sun will set on your day,
Sometimes you're willing to put up a fight
Sometimes the truth is you're furthest from right.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Grateful For

Finger-smudged sunlight
Seeping through the windows
Always keeps me coming back.
They aren't as sticky as I remember
Yeah, if I could remember.
Three o'clock shock
Dream stops,
It's time to go,
But this fuzzy case stays
Because she says
I'm her escape.

I'm her escape.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Holes in the places
Where teeth used to be,
Your singing
Your laughter
Have sunken in me.
Squeezed in from the arms
A quarter way around my waist
Soaked in from the sweat
After playing all day,
I will stay!
I will stay!
I already fit in and I smell like first grade.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Great Leveler

I'm still wishing for threes
But these days aren't getting any easier.
I'm still shaking at the knees
And doubting everything I believed
About them.
About myself.
Take your hand and run it across the shelves
Disheveled are the levels
Flashing lights,
Ringing bells.
Argument and resolution
Still produce scar tissue
And the issue is a matter of memory.
I was stacking chips and counting cards,
But under neon signs glowing
And without even knowing,
The silence came faster than death.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Do Not Reuse

...So I put my endurance and nerves to the test
Frequently checking for pulse and for breath.
I hide violent sun from a head lacking ice,
And all I can say is that we cleaned up nice.


Don't pop the trunk!
There are the cops,
Your mom can see!
Don't sit still or else you'll surely
Fall asleep.
You'll sin in second wind, yeah
That's all you need.
A musty dance room
Holds memorable sights.
The broments,
The buildings,
Big city,
Bright lights.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


You're constantly seeking stability,
But you barely have the ability
To breathe.
You've just got to believe
That you'll find what you need
And your troubles will fall
Like dry, autumn leaves...

Friday, May 15, 2009


Talk about dreams dashed
When it all comes down to current.
Cuts from the green
Bleed moths at the seams.

What a shame
This hand eats trees from a tangled root,
But she'd do it for you
And now you know,
So you clean yourself up for that shine
And the glow.

She says,
"Go and light up the night!
It will be too dark for me,
Yes, still too dark to see,
But I am as blind as my trust.
Don't forget what you must."

It's hard to stay calm
When everybody's dropping bombs,
But angels' wings seem like a dream...
If I could just hold her light
For more than tonight.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Jumping Into a Black Hole

I'd stretch the atomic train,
I'd bear the seconds of pain,
For even less of memory
And watch growing galaxies,
Bursting bright to live and die.
While at home,
I'd be your darkness,
Standing still in your black sky.


A pinprick in the heart
Is enough to start the flow
Of all the bad things
That strangers only know.
It is friendly,
It is foul,
A caring smile with neglected teeth,
What shines beneath
And reflects through mirrors.
The brighter you are,
The dimmer it gets...
The art of deception,
The guilt,
The regret.
Each confession is a verbal attack.
Spontaneous reactions make me
Pull my hand back.
I'm not in this game.
Pull my head back.
It sure looks like rain.
Pull my eyes back.
This man is not sane.
Is it exhausted?
Or have a lost it?
With the eight-ball, corner pocket
And a table full of spheres,
The key is turned and locks it
Adding substance to this fear.
Don't tell me about
These temporary scars.
Don't tell me about
The antics in my car.
I know,
I know...
So get out.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Summer Trees In Groups of Threes

The skies opened up
To let the rainclouds storm in
And those clouds opened up
To spill raindrops within.
They fell in a fury
With finesse and grace
That caught in my curls
And flowed down my face.
Off came the wrinkles
That sat on my head,
Off came the bags
That my tiredness fed.

The water came in like a porous ship
It drew into my throat
Seeping in between lips.
My voice once hoarse
Lost all signs of remorse
And these cords worked like clockwork again.

So now I strum while I drum
To the beating of hot summer days
Because the presents steams to past
And the future's not far away
When your hitting eighty
And you're already late,
I've been saving the best for last.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

To Analyze Statistical Samples

You've got white teeth
From white lies
...they must be,
And trust me,
There's insanity in those eyes.

Here's a year's challenge
And I'm crawling for the cup
That spilled red wine on the table cloth.
It will be what I remembered
It will be what I forgot.

I came in the fall
To have wings made of leaves.
All I needed was autumn
And belief grown on trees.
And by belief I meant
In terms of having faith...
I don't believe that you
Can possibly believe in me.

Denial of Acceptance

The ticks on the clock
Are the bricks to a wall
Waiting for the call
To have my name etched out.
It's consistency crumbles
And falls about onto the floor
Because every night is the same conversation
The pen is pushed for my resignation
From the house.

A little mouse told me to get the hell out
But I'd rather count to ten before I'm knock out.
This boxer takes hits to the heart
That dictate the beat, the finish, the start.
It's just a game.
You must learn these techniques
We are not all the same.

Sometimes you can't see
Everything that I feel,
Sometimes you can't see
That this could be real.
Sometimes you must believe
That your ears heard true,
Sometimes you must believe
That it just isn't you.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Seconds Between Light and Sound

I stared down light streamers
As they beamed through the soft, smoky night.
Down four flights of stairs we went.
Rose thousands of flares,

But how they reached for the heavens
And lit up the skies.
I tilt my head back
To hold tears in my eyes.
Experienced eyes.

I have found mine
And I'm finding more out,
But it's
Three strikes, you're out!

Friday, May 8, 2009

MoMentous Guilt

You were always working,
But knew were not working.
My ascent is your descent
It is boisterous.
It is jerking.

Culture shock!
I forgot where you have come from:
You were lacking
And backing against the wall.
But of all the three
It was lucky me who made it
Years later in a hospital
In a town I would call home.
And that would the extent of detail
As callus and malice would surely prevail.

I hated the feeling
Knowing that you were right
...But you were right.
And the tears did come and blurred your eyes.

I'm sorry,
So sorry I strangled your dreams...
Things aren't as pretty as they had seemed
When you left heading east
Leaving all but a sun,
And eighteen years back
You called me your son.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Day Two: Day to Day, Today!

Home is where I stay
Until I'll find out how to leave
Since they yell at their fall
But don't rake up a leaf.

Wake up!
Wake up!
Rake up those teeth,
So combed, so neat.

With one vent divided
To the corners of her full-sized bed.
She lets out a sigh.
Out on top of the sheets,
A rather drawing scene
As I say goodbye...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Hard Tetris

There's lots of stress
To be the best,
And I won't unless
I get needed rest.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Tripping On Milestones

Thousands and thousands of
Words and phrases
Of days and phases
Have shaped me to who I am
Under the weight of this momentous crown.
No way I'll slow down, just
Don't forget what I said:
Remember what's gone.
Each dawn has a story...
Dammit, life shall go on!

Monday, May 4, 2009


The cars are full
Like the stars are full
With the brightness of the brightest kids.
They're just trying to have some fun,
Living the stereotype
Under California sun...
And you know we're loving it!

Tell your cliques to take a rest.
This is a culmination
Of the best relations
Between one person and another
With only a year shared together:
Two thousand and nine,
So fine,
So fine.

The wave's crash brings me two years back.
Sun bleached shirts
And rolled up slacks,
Putting on a show for our closest friends,
Scanning the dark sea,
We are free.
We are friends.

Fire lights their faces,
Some light sheds on dark places.
The space between is filled.
They live on adventure and thrill.
So give them peace,
While they tear this place to pieces.
So fuck it,
Just send them the bill.

But give it good time
And you'll see words between the lines.
I left a dream and awoke asking why.
This yearning is burning
For my girls and my boys,
But I can assure you that staying is poison.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


I wish I knew what this was.
I wish to God I did.
For all I know,
These words are not mine.
The pen dips into shadows
Leaving stains illuminated
By a single street light.

This is where he stands,
One man
Writhing in the bile
Of his own thoughts.
Letting the stench sit in his clothing,
Single black backseat self-loathing.
I hope no one will ever find me
But I want them all to know
It's not me.

These tears are made for crocodiles
Backed from my eyes and soaked in my brain
While I switch from first to third,
There's no second,
Only shame.

I'm hiding from my friends
I'm hiding from it all
Headlights and eye sights
Burn everything above my head
And no one knows I'm even gone.
I scream in my own ears
Because I can't stand the silence
Of self.

This is me.
Throwing my books off of the shelves
Each one I wrote
Drags my heels toward hell.
Don't you dare tear your clothing
Because I'm the fool
Who thought you would.
Now I get what I deserve:
Choking on my tightening nerves.

I am a failure to myself. that all I come to acknowledge?
I praised others to praise others,
I feed my spoiled baby with sour milk.
Maybe I'll leave
Once I've made a scene.
This paper has no sympathy,
This pen doesn't know what I mean.

Dare I mention the stars?
Dare I mention the scars?
The moon is in debt to the sun
But runs in foolish circles.
And still,
I'm putting alligator clips on my lips,
Wet with lipstick
And somehow I was surprised
When my heart felt the shock
And the light hit my eyes.
The inside of this hollow crystal
Is black.
And the bright outside says,
"Let go without a sound.
You've tethered the lifeboats
And they are going to drown
With you.
Do you really think this is fair?"
So I leave an unfitting scene,
Leaving my scent in the air
And yes,
I'm still not there.

I am not deserved.
I am not deserving.
A drunk takes a swig
At attempts to stop swerving.

I said it before on the eastern shore
When two puzzles were mixed
Until no pieces fit:
This is not me.
No matter how hard I tried,
Or how much I cried
No matter how hard I tried,
I'm not understood.
The termites have found pleasure
In your treasure made of wood.
And so I'm dying from the inside
And these stomach pains
Never do subside.
It's reality,
Pinching at my sides...
A slowdance where it leads,
A slowdance with no time.

So here I am, lost.
I don't know what I'm seeking
And for this lapse in time,
I'll explain I was sleeping.
Right now,
I'm on the edge.
Insane at the border.
I am not reason, destination, or order.
I am merely existence.
I am transporter.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Example One

The the harder the needle pushes to the left.
The harder it gets to force words through mental lips.
Rhymes fall out of the squint of my tired eyes.
While sitting on the stand,
Making alibis.
Who would have expected?
Who would have sensed?
That I'd stop making sense
For the sake of a post,
As my heart loses substance
And my ribs encase ghosts.

Friday, May 1, 2009

The Ends of Circles

I spent my childhood chasing rainbows
But now they are dates
In color-coded pen.
It's the same now
As it was back then.
I'm running, running,
A sprint to the end!
But as I run in this tunnel
The light seems to bend.